


Far From Comfort

by SimplySix



Series: The World of Jay Jallette [5]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst, Bondage, Death, Drama, GRAPHIC DEPICTION, Inflation, M/M, Multi, Mutilation, POINTLESS DRIBBLE, Pain, Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 13:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 31,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplySix/pseuds/SimplySix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Tenth Class on the Team Fortress Roster wasn't one you could find on the payroll, in Mann Co. or even in the Administrator's back pocket.  No, the Tenth Class wasn't something you were HIRED for at the Badlands. </p><p>It was something you were FORCED to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On the Inside Looking Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of the weakest works I have ever written. I mean, toward the end I was just done with it. I really don't know why as it gave me the chance to flesh out my Scouts, Jay and Cole. (sigh) 
> 
> The idea came to me one night and when I have a fuckin' idea I can't let it go without at least giving it a fighting chance. 
> 
> In the end, I still am unsatisfied with this dull turd. Yet, I am still going to subject the Universe to it.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Six.

**On the Inside Looking Out**

 

The lights were dim in the evening.  It was the only way he could tell that the sun rose and set outside.  It was the only way he could keep track of how long he had been prisoner.

Pale, slender fingers moved over swollen, heated flesh.  It stung to pull so hard, but it was the only way he would get the release he desperately needed.  It was the only way to find solace and sleep. Blue eyes narrowed as pain radiated up a straight spine.  Chains rattled behind the small body huddled against the steel wall. Long, shaggy brown hair hung pathetically around the young man’s face.

Just a little more, then he would be asleep.

Jay Merquise-Jallette closed his eyes and pressed his head into the wall.  His hands gripped his manhood tightly as his skin prickled. It was getting too cold.  He hated the cold.

Saliva slid down the corner of the man’s mouth.  A tight ball gag cut into the flesh on his cheeks. Raw, open blisters revealed the constant friction from the leather. Chains and leather restraints around the young man’s wrists kept his hands from moving far from the leather collar secured around his neck. With each pass over his flesh, the chain pulled his neck down with it.

He didn’t know why they bothered anymore.  He was too weak to fight back, now.  Much of the muscle he’d obtained working in the Badlands had disappeared in the first, few months of being trapped in this room. He stopped fighting after the first two weeks.

Tears slid down Jay’s face as he made a feeble sound in his throat and released into his palms. The sense of relief that washed over him was not one of satisfaction or pleasure.  It was mercy.

His body began to shake as his fingers fell away from his cock. He was freezing. More tears flooded his eyes as he huddled against the wall. This wall was always warm. Maybe that is why his teammates never gave him a blanket.  He knew why they never gave him clothes.

“Whores had no need for clothes.” they had told him.

Jay stared down at the dingy, cum ridden floor.  Blood was pooled in spots where the Sniper had hit him too hard.  The chains and restraints that the Medic liked to use were hanging ominously from the far wall and the ceiling.  Several carpentry horses and benches were in the middle of the room. Those were his Engineer and Demoman’s creations.

Everything was a testament to what his life had become.

Jay’s eyes narrowed again as they came to rest on the abandoned collar and chains that were a few feet from his own.  His heart began to ache as he stretched out his hands.  His fingers barely touched the leather of the collar.

How long had it been since Vincent had died?

Two weeks? Three?

The former Scout Class sobbed and let his hands fall uselessly to the floor.  It wasn’t fair. Life had never been fair.  But, to watch the only one who had shown him kindness suffer and die was too much.  He had begged them to spare him. He had pleaded until he was out of breath and broken from the beatings he had sustained. Still, they let the wounds and the sickness fester. They let Vincent die beside him.

Jay trembled and turned his head as he heard the cell door open.

It was late.  Who would be coming for a comfort call this late with battle in the morning?

The smaller frame pushed away from the wall and tried to wipe the tears out of its eyes. They could break him. They could rape him. But what they would not do is see him cry.

Jay stayed on his knees with his hands in plain sight.  This was routine.  Vincent had taught him most of the tricks of this business before he had died.  If you just followed the rules, it would be over quicker.

When the team had first brought him to this room, he had fought.  Just from the looks in his teammates’ eyes and the sight of the Spy that had been here years prior, Jay had known that if they brought him here, he would never leave.  The fighting hadn’t done him much good. There were usually two or three of them at a time. Once they caught sight of a body they wanted, there were ways of making it disappear.

They called it the “Comfort” Class.  It was a horrible, cheap pun on women that were used during the war for pleasing the soldiers. It was just a fancy term his teammates used to call him a “whore.”  Since women weren’t plentiful in the Badlands, the teams had to be creative in releasing sexual frustration. Everywhere else Jay had worked, they’d found ways alone. But, he’d always heard rumours that the “Comfort” Class existed.

He didn’t believe them.  How could they take one of their own teammates and force him to do. . . well, to do anything they wanted.  He laughed it off.  He used to laugh a lot, before he came to Well. After he came here, the laughter died. Much like he had to the real world, Jay Jallete did not smile or live. He existed.

They had drugged him during supper one night.  He had woken up in this room.  He had seen Vincent strung up from the ceiling. The former Spy was being struck with hot metal and being violated in a way he’d seen no one violated.

Jay closed his eyes to try and block out the sounds and the smell of burning flesh.  He had tried to stop his teammates, but that only enticed them to attack him. They wore him down by beating him to a pulp before letting the Sniper and the Medic have their way with him.

Since the “Comfort” Class violated about fifteen of the Administrator’s rules, the Bases that ran them had to do so carefully. This often meant that the weaker or the easier to “lose” classes were victims of the act. Scouts and Spies, mostly. Every once and a great while, a Sniper would be captured and used, but it was a rarity.

Comforts disappeared from the Roster after being MIA for a week.  Usually, the Medic would report to Miss Pauling that a casualty had been sustained.  Then, the Comfort would be put in a cell like this one. They never left. They never saw daylight again. They would die in these rooms.

Some of them died during particularly rough encounters with their teammates. Some died from disease. Others took their own lives. Regardless, Comforts had no other purpose but to be slaves to their teammates’ sexual desires and fantasies. If they died too soon, it often made it worse for the Comfort after them.  Since it was an illicit act, recruiting too many, too soon attracted attention.  Therefore, it was in a team’s best interest to try and keep one Comfort alive for a longer period of time.

He had been a Comfort for seven months.  His body eventually got used to it.  He didn’t think his mind would.  If it hadn’t been for Vincent, he might not have been so lucky.

 _If lucky is what you would call it_.

Jay’s thoughts were slow.  He was trying to mentally prepare himself.  It was something else Vincent had taught him.

The Scout winced as he heard footsteps.  He did not recognise the sound.  If he had to guess, the shoes themselves sounded like running shoes. There was not enough weight on the floor to be any of his heavier teammates.

Jay felt the cool air against the release hardening on his flesh. He would get punished if he didn’t lie about that.  He could try the excuse about the Medic injecting him with some ungodly aphrodisiac. Usually, this just invited whoever was calling to call him a vile piece of trash for pleasuring himself when his only job was to pleasure his team.

He frowned.

To be fair, the Medic _had_ used something on him earlier. He had cackled about it the whole time he was fucking him.  It had made having an erection excruciating.  He thought he would die if he didn’t release the pressure. He had been working at it for over an hour after his teammates had left.  It had been the most painful experience in his life.

That was aside from the obvious, of course.

Jay looked up obediently as a figure appeared in the shadows.  He waited quietly as the figure stopped.  The blisters in his cheeks ached from being cut up by gags and twisted devices the Medic and Engineer had come up with to keep his mouth open. Blood was starting to appear in the deeper wounds as he stared at the body in the dark.

He did not recognise this person.

“Son of a bitch.”

Light fell across a tall, slender body as it came out of the shadows.  Tense, indigo coloured eyes stared at the young man on the floor as messy, brown bangs fell into his face.  Muscles trembled under a bright, blue shirt as the BLU Scout stood over his predecessor. Wraps ran up the full length of the Scout’s right arm but only covered the Scout’s left hand and wrist. Aside from the indigo eyes and a slightly more muscular build, the Scout looked every much like the one in chains.

Jay stared, surprised.

It was highly unusual for the team to allow a Scout Class to come into a Comfort Cell.  You never knew when you would need him to fill in for a deceased Comfort. You didn’t want him finding out and then going back to Miss Pauling or the Administrator about what he saw.  Seeing his successor brought a sense of finality to his position.

If he had been replaced, then he no longer existed outside of this room.

This caused a sense of desperation in the smaller body.  He tried valiantly to keep his face devoid of any feeling as his muscles began to shake from cold and fear. It was like looking into a mirror.

It was a reflection that may end up in this same position.

Jay bowed forward and made a horrible strangled sound.  His collar dug into his neck as the tension tightened on the chain connected to the wall. He felt tears slide down his face as he shook his head.

He did not care if the Scout beat him. He didn’t care if the others punished him tomorrow. He refused to “service” someone that may someday be like himself.  He refused to “please” his successor.

His body was shaking and his face was becoming red with the lack of oxygen. He saw the other Scout move forward and he tried to remain still, expecting a forceful fist into his side or his face.

He had taken worse from the others.

“Jesus! Hey! Please. . .please don’t cry!  I. . .I ain’t here to _hurt_ you!”

Jay gasped for air and whimpered as his teammate’s hands trailed over his blisters and unhooked the ball gag from around his head. It fell to the floor, unheeded, as the cool air bit into his wounds. His eyes narrowed as the taller man gently tugged on his face to get him to look up at him. He relented.

“Fuck. . .I knew it.” the Scout hissed. “You _are_ Cam’s fuckin’ twin.”

Jay stared.  His eyes must have portrayed his surprise because the BLU Scout sighed softly and wiped the blood and spit from his chin.

“Your stupid brother has been boastin’ ever since you got put on the MIA list.” he said aloud. “Would have kept boastin’ if I hadn’t shown up and gave him the beat down he deserved.”

“Who. . .are you?”

Jay looked down quickly. He pursed his lips as a deep flush ran across his face.

Comforts did not speak without being commanded. They also didn’t ask questions.

The Scout smiled warmly.

“I’m a friend.” he answered honestly. “I came to the Badlands seeking some fun in the desert sun and a bit of revenge.  Nothin’ goes better with sunshine than a baseball bat and revenge!”

Jay lifted his head very slowly.  He let his eyes meet the indigo ones staring back at him.  This felt oddly familiar.

“My name is Cole.” the other Scout said gently. “Cole Justine.”

“I am Jay.”

“Jay.  That’s a nice name.” Cole said softly.

Jay waited for a moment before wincing and shaking his head.

“What. . .are you doing here. . .Cole?” he whispered. “You. . .shouldn’t be here. They don’t. . . let Scout or Spy Class in here.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.” Cole sighed. “I’ve been tailin’ our drunk ass Demoman around. The Medic’s always tryin’ to shut him up, but the booze, ya know? Anyway, I have been watchin’ him and some of the others disappear at night or what have you.  So, I have been followin’ him. He doesn’t pay much attention, and he often leaves the door unlocked after himself.”

The Scout grinned devilishly.

Jay noted that he had straight teeth and a flattering smile.

He blushed and looked away.

The Demoman and the Medic _had_ been the last to leave tonight.  That would explain why they kept him chained to the wall.  If he could move around, he may use a weapon or try to escape through the door one of them had carelessly left unlocked.

He trembled.

Cole should leave before someone found him.

 


	2. Love is a Razor

**Love is a Razor**

 

“You should go.” he whispered. “If they catch you in here, you may end up in the chains right next to me.”

Jay looked up as Cole eased his hands alongside his neck and down to the collar around his throat. He remained silent as the other Scout unbuckled it and threw it to the floor.  His mind worked through the regular motions of preparing for the inevitable.

“I’ve already been a prisoner of someone’s lust.  I decided I wouldn’t subject myself to it again.”

Jay was surprised as Cole frowned and looked off to the side.  He said nothing as Cole shook his head and turned back to him.

“They can break your body, Jay,” Cole whispered, “but they can’t break _you_.”

Jay slowly brought his hands to his neck and pressed his fingers against sore, swollen flesh. He winced as a sharp pain echoed down his muscles.

“It doesn’t matter what they do to me anymore.” he said distantly. “I can’t leave, and the only person that ever cared about me died a few weeks ago.”

“Vincent, right?”

Jay looked up with a tight glare.

“How did you know that?”

“Nero told me.” Cole answered.

The two Scouts stared at one another for several minutes. The humming of the lights above sounded like bugs.  There was a crash from somewhere in the Base, but neither man moved. After a few moments longer, Jay shifted uncomfortably and looked down.

“You know Nero?” he breathed.

“He is part of my normal, assigned team.” Cole said with a smirk. “I am not your replacement, per se, Jay. I am here outta 2Fort.”

“Where my brother fights.” Jay interrupted softly.

He winced before shaking his head.

“Why haven’t they replaced me?”

“I have a hunch.” Cole answered, sitting down beside Jay. “You see, about the time you musta been hauled in _here_ , there was a pretty big commotion up at Gold Rush.”

The Scout stopped for a moment and took a piece of gum out of his pocket. He offered it to Jay. The smaller Scout shook his head mostly out of reflex.  He watched as Cole opened the piece of gum and began chewing. His eyes followed the thin, rough fingers as they methodically began folding the foil wrapper.

“They found two Scouts that had been MIA for months with their throats slit outside of the Base Sentry parameters.” Cole continued.  “The kills were fresh. Worse, the Administrator found them before the rest of the team could cover up “who done it.”

Jay felt a cold, dark feeling pass through his veins.  He stared, blankly, as Cole worked the foil wrapper silently. He started when Cole nudged him and presented him with the small bird.

“What is it?”

“Origami.” Cole answered, grinning. “It’s a crane. I used to make hundreds of them in the hospital back in the day. They taught me at the orphanage where I grew up.”

Jay tentatively reached out to touch the item in Cole’s hand, but quickly pulled his fingers back and shook his head.

“I’m. . .sorry. . .” he whispered. “I can’t. . .keep. . .things.”

Cole stared at the younger Scout with a firm frown.  He watched Jay press his hands against his front and turned away, ashamed.  This kid had no fight in him whatsoever.  They had successfully beaten him down.

_Then again, Nero wasn’t lying when he said these rooms are elaborately designed for the purpose._

The older Scout glared at the objects in the room before looking back at Jay.

“Don’t they let you have a blanket or anything?”

“No.”

Jay’s voice was lifeless and flat. He kept his eyes on the floor as he replied.

“Whores have no need for clothes.”

“That’s what _they_ told you.” Cole said heatedly. “Don’t fucking give them the satisfaction. I know it is hard. . .trust me, I know. . .but don’t give up. Please.”

Jay glared, now.

“What do _you_ care?” he said spitefully. “You shouldn’t even _be_ here.”

“I told you already.” Cole said calmly. “I came here because Nero was worried.  You disappeared, and he knew that Vincent had disappeared the same way.  He has been working with other BLU Teams that _don’t_ employ this class to uncover what is going on. He is trying to _save_ you.”

“I am beyond saving.” Jay interrupted. “Nero should stop wasting his time.”

“Horrible thing to say about family who cares so much.”

Jay glared harder.

“Some uncle he’s been.” he spat. “He knew about me. . .about _my father_ and he did _nothing_! He supposedly cared about Vincent, but he did _nothing_.”

Cole’s face eased back as he looked away.

“He doesn’t know Vincent is dead.”

“Good. It will be as painful for him as it was for me.” Jay said beside himself. “No. No, it won’t. Because he didn’t _LOVE HIM LIKE I DID_.”

Jay’s hands flew to his mouth. He sat, terrified, as he stared at his counterpart.  His blue eyes were wide.

Silence was better. Silence _was_ golden. If they couldn’t _hear_ you, then they couldn’t take what _mattered_ from you.

The smaller Scout was surprised when Cole smiled warmly and put his head against his arm.

“In a place like this, love is rare.” Cole mused. “You are stronger than you think, Jay.  You’ve forgotten is all.”

Jay trembled.

“I am sorry.” he whispered. “I should. . .not have spoken.”

He froze when Cole leaned forward and put his hands against his face.  His blisters stung as the indigo eyes bore into his own.  He could not turn away as Cole spoke.

“ _Never_ not speak.” the older Scout whispered fiercely. “Don’t keep this shit inside. I know it hurts now. I know it will probably always hurt. But you _cannot_ give up.  I know that Nero ain’t exactly the best family. . .but at least you _have_ family.  The “family” I have I wish I didn’t. You have someone that is desperately trying. . .and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to try, too.  It ain’t right what they are doing to you or to people like Vincent.

“It is _never_ right.”

Cole winced and painfully wrapped his arms around the tiny body that lunged at him. He held Jay tightly and let him sob into his shirt.  He knew all too well the pain that came with being violated and abused.  It was a terrifying nightmare that you never fully got done having.  Worse, when the abuse was hammered into you by telling you that this was your purpose, it made everything hopeless.

The older Scout opened his eyes and stared at the opposite wall.  He glared at all of the chains and the restraints strung up along the room.  These mercenaries were sick fucks.  It was one thing to be “sexually frustrated.” It was another completely when you took it to this level.

This was _rape_ and horrific abuse.

“Pl. . .ease. . .I am. . .sorry!” Jay choked, clutching the fabric of Cole’s shirt in his fingers. “I. . . don’t. . .know what. . .is wrong!”

Cole carefully leaned back from the smaller Scout.  He noted that he could feel each of Jay’s ribs as his fingertips roamed back to the injured face. He shook his head.

“You said it yourself.” he answered. “You loved Vincent.  He’s gone. He _died_ in this room. I imagine it was a painful death. I imagine it was torture watching him suffer.”

Jay gave a strangled cry before bowing his head, ashamed.

“I begged!” he cried softly. “I begged them to help him! I begged until they were beating me for being belligerent! They still let the infection spread! He didn’t even realise I was here. . .at. . .at the end! His fever. . .it was so high!

“They dragged him away! They. . .probably just threw him in the desert!  I. . .I will. . .never see him again!”

The Scout’s voice faded into heart wrenching sobs.  He put his face in his hands and wept.  The tears burned in the open wounds, but he couldn’t stop them.  It had hurt so much keeping Vincent’s death inside. It hurt so much to remember he would die here, too.  Being a slave was tolerable when you had a kindred spirit to guide you through it. Now, being alone, the torture was unbearable.

You were always alone. Always.

Cole spoke quietly in another language before carefully wiping the tears out of Jay’s eyes. The older Scout smiled a little and shook his head.

“Vincent wouldn’t have wanted you to give your life for his.” he breathed. “He musta loved you a lot, Jay.  Like I said, love like that is rare.  I know.”

This caused Jay to start.  He sniffled and shook his head.

“What?”

Cole nodded.

“My Sniper. . .out of 2Fort.” he said softly. “He. . .keeps me grounded in reality.  I am sure Vincent did that for you.  It is disorienting being so full of sadness or rage.  I came here angry and looking for revenge.  Don’t get me wrong, I got it. . .but Lucas kept me from going too far. He keeps me _here_ and _now_.  I had been so set on being angry, I had forgotten everything else. For what had been done to me, I wanted others to suffer.

“Lucas taught me that it doesn’t always bring peace.”

He smiled warmly and ran his fingers through Jay’s hair.  He noted the satisfied look in Jay’s eyes as his fingers detangled the long, brown strands. He shook his head again.

“When you have someone who understands you, your situation and everything in between, I can imagine that crying is about as human as you can get when it’s gone.”

Several, stray tears slid down Jay’s cheeks.

“I miss him.”

“I know.” Cole said softly. “I know you do. . .but. . .”

The Scout trailed off and looked down at the small, foil bird that he’d kept in his palm. He carefully lifted Jay’s palm upward and set the tiny, paper creation in the younger Scout’s hand.

“. . .I’ll come in his place.”

Jay shook his head, alarmed.

“No, Cole.” he breathed. “Please. . .please don’t. . .they. . .they show up randomly sometimes. They will catch you. . .please, I . . . I couldn’t stand another falling prey to their horrible. . .”

Cole smiled again and put his finger against Jay’s lips to silence him.

“I’ve been through it.” he said quietly. “Not here in the Badlands, but when I was a younger teen back in Chicago. . .where I’m from.  A gang there, one notorious for hate crimes, cornered me after Christmas Eve Mass. They did things to me. . .that I wish I could forget. . .tried crucifying me and lighting me on fire.  The Archbishop actually heard me screaming outside the Church and came for me himself.”

The older Scout stared at Jay intently.

“I won’t ever forget the pain they inflicted on me.  I was sent to a mental home for three years after that.  I couldn’t be trusted not to kill them or take my own life.  That’s where I learned to make _these_ little guys instead of beating someone’s face into their skull!”

Jay looked down at the tiny crane in his hand.  He shook his head.

"Cole. . .”

“I _want_ to be here, Jay.” Cole interrupted again. “I won’t let them get away with this. Not them, not the ones at Gold Rush. . .none of them.”

Jay looked away.

“That’s right.” he said softly. “You said that two Scouts were found at Gold Rush.”

“Oh, yeah! I never finished that story!” Cole laughed. “Where was I?”

“You were saying something about the Administrator finding their bodies.” Jay answered quietly.

“Yeah. Actually, Miss Pauling’s personal henchmen found them.” Cole continued. “She’d had “concerns” coming out of Gold Rush about a “program” that violated the Administrator’s rules. She was planning an investigation, but the Scouts turned up before she went there. I guess Ol’ Helen told her to lay low and bring the Scouts back.”

Cole looked up as Jay flinched.

“Jay?”

“That’s protocol.” Jay whispered. “If the Comfort Class is compromised, they destroy the room and kill the Comforts inside. That’s why Vincent was recruited years ago. Miss Pauling got her suspicions up about Well and they burned the room with the two Spies inside it.”

Cole firmly grasped Jay’s hair and lifted his head. The younger Scout’s eyes were forlorn.

“You. Are. Not. Dying. Here.”

Jay smiled faintly.

“I’m already dead on the inside.”

Cole’s face eased into a painful grimace.  Sadness drifted through his eyes before he shook his head and loosened his hold on Jay’s hair.

“Please. Please, don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth.” Jay said softly. “I would welcome death.”

Jay froze, again, as Cole leaned forward and put his lips against his own.  His blue eyes displayed his confusion.  He winced when the Scout leaned back.  Cole’s breath was warm against his face as the older Scout trembled and shook his head.

“It isn’t. . .better.” Cole rasped. “Dying won’t make it better! Please, Jay. Please don’t wish for that.”

“I’ve met you before. . .haven’t I?”

 


	3. My Memory of You

**My Memory of You**

 

Cole looked almost hopeful as Jay finally put the pieces of the memories together in his mind. The younger Scout stared, suspiciously, as the older Scout nodded.

“Yeah. We’ve met before.”

“Where?”

“Turbine.”

“You were on the RED Team then, weren’t you?”

“No. I was training, then.  I was shadowing _you_.”

Jay started and tried to think back. 

The memories were fuzzy.  They were overridden by the constant nightmares that plagued him every day.  To think back to when he was an actual Scout seemed like a life time ago.  After a few moments, the bright sun and the smile and the bubble gum came back to him.

Cole smiled when Jay turned back to him with a grin of his own.

“Remember me, now?”

“You were an amazing shot with the baseball.” Jay said aloud. “And your smile. I remember that you had a perfect smile and chewed bubblegum constantly.”

“Cause if I don’t chew gum I’ll smoke.” Cole said with a laugh. “Bad habit, so I am trying to replace it with another.”

The older Scout moved a little closer, offering his body heat as a form of warmth for his counterpart.

“I’m glad you remember.”

“I’m sorry it took so long.”

Cole shook his head.

“Never be sorry.” he said softly. “Not for anything.”

“It’s easier.” Jay relented.  “To be sorry, and push it to your mind is easier than trying to fight all the time.  I used to fight them.  Now, I don’t have the strength.  Vincent taught me other survival tricks.  They have helped so far.”

“Well, you don’t have to be sorry around me.” Cole said finally. “I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want.  With the exception of leaving you alone here, of course.  That is something I won’t bend on.”

Jay looked across the room.

“You are taking a big risk.” he whispered.

He turned to look at Cole as the older Scout frowned and grabbed his chin. His blue eyes were sad as Cole glared.

“ _I_ am not their Scout.” he hissed. “Furthermore, _they_ don’t control my Respawn Codes. My team at 2Fort does.  So, even if they try to kill me, it won’t work. Plus, I wouldn’t give them the chance.”

Jay smiled faintly.

“No. They’d kill you first, then kill me.” he said softly. “I am off of Respawn.  That is why the Medic is usually in here all the time.  He has to make sure that the Medi-gun is setup so that I do not bleed out or die from trauma.  After Vincent died from infection, he took no more chances.”

The Scout fell silent as he looked off toward the empty chains beside him.

Cole thought for a moment before shaking his head.

“I’m on strict orders to do nothing until Miss Pauling is able to connect the dots. . .with Nero’s help of course.”

Jay shrugged.

“He _is_ good at what he does.”

Cole frowned again.

“Yeah, but I don’ wanna leave you _here_.  I was hoping he was crazy.  But. . .”

Jay turned and looked at the older Scout, amused, as Cole looked around.

“. . .turns out nightmares are made of real stuff.”

The Scouts were silent for a few moments.  The lights hummed softly while Cole popped his gum. After a few moments, Jay trembled and instinctively huddled against the wall behind him.

“Are you all right?”

Jay looked at Cole.

“It gets cold in here at night.” he breathed. “This wall. . .is always warm.  I huddle against it to keep warm.”

Cole’s face went dark as he muttered in his foreign language again.  In an instant, the fog had cleared and the Scout held out his arm.

Jay winced.

“Please. . .”

“I don’t wanna hurt you, ya dope.” Cole said, blushing. “I’m offerin’ to keep you warm!”

Jay hesitated.

He remembered when Vincent used to do the same thing.  Even when he started getting sick, he had held Jay until he’d fallen asleep. He’d release the collar from his neck and let him curl into his side. He smelled of spices and bergamot. Even after so many years, he carried that scent with him. It put Jay at ease.

Now, watching Cole, the memories were coming back.  The warmth of a pair of arms was inviting. He missed the connection to humanity that Vincent had offered him.

He gave him hope.

“You. . .will not. . .hurt me?”

Cole shook his head.

“No.”

“Why are you doing this? Why doesn’t. . .Nero. . .come himself?”

“Funny story about that, actually.” Cole mused. “When you went missing, Nero was about to blow the whole operation out of the water. He said he wasn’t going to let you suffer the same fate. He’d actually made it a far distance out of 2Fort before August and Vlad hauled him back.”

The Scout stopped and smiled as Jay slowly slid closer to him.  He remained patient until he could feel Jay’s skin touching his own.  He carefully wrapped his arm around the smaller Scout and listened to soft sighs.

“Nero’s current beau had to restrain him.  The stress caused his health to turn for a bit. He’s better now, I guess. But he doesn’t have the physical fortitude that you or I do. He wouldn’t survive long enough on his own.  I got a black eye for telling him that, too.”

“He’s sore about his fragile health.” Jay whispered, leaning against Cole. “You’re lucky you only got a black eye.”

Cole grinned.

“It was worth it.  After he collapsed during battle, there was no question about who needed to go. Luke wasn’t happy about it.  I am surprised he hasn’t transferred over here from the bloody stress of it all. I don’t think it is so much he doesn’t trust _me_ , it is that he doesn’t trust what I’ll _do_. Which, given the circumstances, I can understand.”

Jay was silent for a moment before shaking his head.

“What did you do?”

Cole did not answer for a few minutes. Finally, he shook his head and looked down.

“I almost pummeled the RED Spy to death.” he said softly.

Jay looked confused.

“Aren’t you _paid_ to kick his ass?”

The bitterness for his father was apparent.  It was something he hated to acknowledge let alone talk about.  He had been the youngest of a pair of twins and a late twin at that. It was a rare occurrence the doctor had said.  His mother hadn’t the fortitude or heart to tell that RED Spy she’d had twins that were his.

He found out about Camden.  She relented and let Cam come to the Badlands with him as a child after the stress of so many children was becoming apparent.  He cared more for her health than the fact he’d had a child out of wedlock.

When Jay was born, though, his mother panicked. She kept him a secret. Gave him her last name and he spent a lot of time with his maternal grandmother.  His grandmother had never approved of his mother’s “loose” habits or choice in men.  But in him, she saw promise and the chance to raise a child right.

He had a strong, Catholic upbringing and the upmost respect for authority and his elders. He was polite and kind and protested the mistreatment of his grandmother by anyone.  She had shown him that kindness could be earned and deserved.  That anyone could be one of God’s Angels.

“I woulda been, had they added me to the Roster before I did it.”

Jay looked at Cole when the second Scout spoke again.  He didn’t understand.

Cole looked at him almost sadly.

“I came here looking for revenge. I wanted revenge for the abuse and rape of my mother. For her disappearance. For her death. I wanted to kill the man who had left me in the hands of a Catholic Orphanage in Chicago because my mother’s family didn’t acknowledge my existence. I came here because Helen MacManus left a clear message on my Birth Certificate when my mother was Indigo Mann and my father was Jacques Merquise.”

Jay stared stupidly.

He hadn’t heard quite right.

“What?” he whispered.

“My mother was a Pyro Trial.” Cole answered. “She died here. It was because that _fucking whore_ had ended up assaulting her after a performance at the club she was featured in when she was in Chicago.  I was the result.  I was left to fend for myself. Left to battle the ridicule of being who and what I was. He _left her_ to die.

“So, I was going to kill _him_.”

He winced as he watched the colour drain from Jay’s face.  He closed his eyes and made sure to keep his arm loose around his partner.

“I got here, as you know, a couple of years ago.  But, before anyone knew I was here, before anyone knew what I was or wanted, I attacked that bastard after a battle near Dustbowl. I fuckin’ wailed on him.  I didn’t even have my gun or my bat then. I just fuckin’ wailed on him with my fuckin’ fists.  I beat the living shit out of him.

“I remember screaming.  I remember the blood and the flesh on my hands. The smell of iron and his fuckin’ French insults.  I wouldn’t let him get near his gun or his knife. I wouldn’t let him do anything.

“I had beat him within an inch of his life before his teammates tore me off of him and held me back.”

He smiled a little.

“Mundy got me wrangled down pretty good. He’s skilled with that damn bow and arrows of his.”

Jay trembled.

“You. . .with your. . .hands?”

The words didn’t make sense, but Cole nodded all the same.

“Yeah. Bare hands.  I spent two days in detention at RED while Miss Pauling tried to figure out who the hell I was and how I got onto the Battlements.  It wasn’t until Helen was notified of my presence that the incident was cleared up and I was released.”

“Helen. . .let you go?”

Jay’s eyes were wide, afraid and turning a deep shade of blue-green.

“Helen is the one that left me with ID tags to get onto the Battlements.” Cole laughed. “She’d left them when I was born. They were in a letter that was to be given to me on my 17th Birthday. When I opened it, there was a copy of my Birth Certificate, the tags and a picture of my father. On it were the words “You can Find Him in the Badlands, New Mexico.”

“She planned it!”

Jay covered his lips and blushed.  He reluctantly let Cole move his fingers away and keep his hand entwined with his.

“Yeah. She’d laid a trap for the whoring sow when he wouldn’t listen to orders about fraternizing outside of battle.” Cole answered. “A 23 year plan in the making.  She couldn’t get the message to stick, but she figured enough hatred and malice would be bred into me that I would come looking for him.

“After I found out what happened to my mother, I did.”

“Sounds like he got what he deserved.”

Jay looked at Cole very seriously. He frowned.

“I wish I could have been there to see you beat that fucking face into the dirt.”

 


	4. Promises, Promises

**Promises, Promises**

 

Jay did not resist when Cole put his hand on the back of his neck and pressed their lips together. He closed his eyes and leaned in closer.  It felt so good to be touched gently and kissed again.  He had forgotten what it felt like already.  It had been so long since Vincent. . .

Cole leaned back as a painful sob got caught in Jay’s throat.  He winced and whispered in his second language. He tried to soothe his counterpart’s tears away as Jay started to cry.

“I’m sorry.” he breathed in English. “I didn’t. . .didn’t mean to do that without your permission!”

“ _Non_ _, quaeso,_ _ne_ _impediatur opus._ ”

Cole smiled faintly.

“You speak Latin.”

“I told you my grandmother was a devout Catholic.” Jay answered.

The smaller Scout gave a weak smile in return.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Cole whispered.

“About you beating the shit out of our father?” Jay asked. “It’s all right.”

“Not just that.” Cole said softly. “About not telling you we. . .we were half-brothers.”

Jay thought about this silently for a moment.  He was confused on what the implications were. What did it matter that they were half-brothers? They had been half a country away from one another.  It was insane, maniacal genius that had landed them in the same place anyway.

“Does. . .does it matter?” Jay asked quietly. “Does. . .it bother you we are related?”

Cole shook his head.

“Not really.” he answered. “It’s just. . .”

Jay looked at him curiously. He must be missing something.

Cole looked into Jay’s eyes.

“I love you, and I don’t want us being related to stop me from doing things like this. . .”

There was a moment of infinite understanding when Cole pulled Jay forward and passionately kissed him.  Despite being floored by the statement that someone loved him, Jay found his body hungrily accepting Cole’s attention. He rolled into the older Scout’s hands. He allowed his lips to part and their tongues to intertwine.

This was something worth remembering.

It was worth savouring.

The Scouts broke breathlessly and stared at one another.  Cole’s eyes were narrowed with pain. It was the fear of rejection.  He had fallen for Jay before falling for Lucas.  Shadowing the lithe, faster than lightning body through the hot desert made his body smoulder.  He wanted to be lost in it.  He wanted it to dominate his very being.

When he had found out Jay had the same father, the feelings didn’t dwindle as his hopes had.  It didn’t bother him that they were half-brothers. He found it cruelly ironic that the same man he’d taken a liking to also shared the same, despicable father. Even more so when they shared the same hatred.

Now, he waited for Jay to be disgusted with him. He’d forced himself on him just like the rest of his teammates.  He wouldn’t blame him for hating him.

Jay waited, panting softly, before slowly raising his hand.  He hesitated a time or two before placing the shaking digits against Cole’s cheek.  He was surprised by how warm his skin was. Against the stark contrast of healthy, sun-tanned glow, his pale, blueish white flesh glared back at him.  He smiled when Cole leaned into his touch.

“You love. . .me. . .but you never. . .never knew me. . .” he stammered. “Not really.”

Cole shook his head.

“No, not then.” he breathed. “But I have the rest of forever to learn. Plus, I don’t need everything up front to know what _I_ want.  I won’t let them keep doing this. I won’t. Not to you.”

Jay trembled.

“Cole. . .they. . .they will take you prisoner. They will _hurt_ you in ways you do not understand! Please. Please do not do. . .do this.”

The fear returned to Jay’s voice and his eyes narrowed. Goosebumps covered his arms and legs as the air grew colder. He shivered miserably.  His bruises, wounds and sores began to hurt. His body was hungry for warmth, for protection.  He wanted to be wrapped in a pair of arms that didn’t want to cause him pain.

He just didn’t want the owner of those arms to suffer the same fate.

Arms pulled him forward gently.  He felt his body being lifted on to strong, warm legs as Cole pulled him to his body and pressed him to his chest. The feeling of warmth spread through his entire body. His muscles began to relax as Cole’s fingers drifted across the unopened skin of his face.

Jay stared at him miserably.

“Run away from here, Cole.” he pleaded. “If you love me, stay away from here!  Don’t let them do to you what they did. . .they did to Vincent!”

Tears slid down his face again.  He felt like a child.  He had underestimated how much his heart hurt.  He hadn’t realised how much he had loved that Spy until he was gone.

Cole shook his head.

“I love you, but I won’t leave you.”

Jay choked off a sob in his throat and bowed his head.

“Idiot!”

He glared when Cole lifted his head again.  The indigo blue stared kindly back at him.

“I won’t abandon you when I have the power to stop this.” Cole whispered. “They don’t have my Respawn Codes, remember? I may not be as clever as you or Nero, but when the odds are against me I do my best work.  Give me three days, Jay. Three days.  Hold on for three days, and I will come back and get you out of here.

“I will make each and every one of those fuckers pay.”

Cole frowned and held Jay tightly as the smaller Scout put his arms around his neck and cried. To have abused such a loving soul was horrible. To have pushed it past its mortal limits and turned it into something broken and bleeding was worse.

After a moment, Cole whispered into Jay’s ear and carefully leaned him back.  He wiped the tears from his face and smiled hopefully.

“Three days, Jay.” he repeated. “Promise me you’ll hold on.”

Jay trembled and nodded.

He’d survived this long, what was three more days?

“Yes. I promise.”

He let Cole’s lips press against his again as a stray tear slid down his cheek.

How many more hearts would be broken before the stupid chivalry would end?

“Come on. . .you look exhausted.” Cole said gently. “Let me hold you.”

“You shouldn’t risk. . .”

“Shh.” Cole interrupted. “I have my pistol. If anyone comes in, I will shoot them and we will run like hell, you understand?”

Jay couldn’t help but admire this tenacity. It was refreshing.  Vincent had been beaten down by the time he’d come along.  He didn’t try to fight it anymore.  The Spy had taught the Scout to do the same rather than encourage him to struggle when he was fit.

The younger Scout nodded.

“Good.” Cole replied, holding Jay closer on his lap. “Do they come late or early in the mornings?”

Jay shrugged.

“I can’t really tell time anymore.” he murmured. “But, when I hear the sirens, I can kinda gauge that they will be in after dinner.”

“Not before sunrise or battle?”

Jay shook his head.

“Not usually.” he breathed. “Too risky that Miss Pauling or the Administrator would show up. They usually. . .usually only come. . .after battle.”

Cole quieted the younger man and whispered sweet nothings into his hair. He held him tightly and shook his head.

“It’s all right. I’m sorry.”

He held Jay to his chest and began humming.  He ran his hands through his younger brother’s hair and scalp.  He listened as the whimpers became whispers and finally soft snores. He sat staring at all of the torturous devices in the room.  His eyes became hard as his brain worked quickly.

He couldn’t wait for Nero and Pauling.  If he did, Jay would end up dead.  He couldn’t let that happen.  He _promised_ it _wouldn’t_ happen.

Cole stared at Jay and pressed the smaller body to his.

“I’d do anything to protect you, Jay.” he breathed. “Anything.”

Jay murmured in his sleep and moved closer.

The first thing to do was tell Nero about Vincent.  That would get the fire under his ass again.  The next thing would be to find out what the bastards did with the body.  Jay deserved closure. He deserved to have peace of mind knowing his lover’s remains were buried respectably.

Cole glared at the door to the holding cell.

He had three days to get stark raving mad.  Three days to get so pissed that what he did to his father would look _tame_ compared to what he was going to do to the entire, BLU Team at Well.

He was going to make them _pay_.

 


	5. Dreamers of the Dream

**Dreamers of the Dream**

 

“That’s it you little _whore_!”

A painful gagging sound came from the Scout’s throat.  He kept his eyes closed as a sharp, painful slap resounded from his backside. His hands were busy at his sides and his mouth was full of the team’s Heavy.  The heated organ was shoved to the back of his throat as the Russian forced his head down faster.

They had inflated him today.

His stomach protruded in front of his body as the Sniper made horrible smacking sounds against his ass.  He shuddered from the pressure and the pain. The Sniper was larger than the others and he prided himself on making the young man bleed.

“Vith zhat stomach, he almost looks like a voman!”

Jay winced and narrowly opened his eyes.  His face was raw from the Heavy’s grabbing fingers. He felt the release coming.  He knew it by now.  And when the Heavy would cum, so would the Medic who was shoving his cock into the cusp of his fingers.

“Yeah, doc.” the Sniper agreed. “With that long hair he has he almost _is_ a woman.”

The Heavy made an indiscriminate grunt and shoved the Scout’s lips down on his shaft.  He shuddered while his release left him.  He grinned when the Medic spoke in rapid German and let his end finish all along Jay’s face and neck. The Engineer to Scout’s left spent himself and coated the other side.

Jay coughed violently after swallowing. His entire body shuddered as his hands fell away from the Medic and the Engineer. He felt the Medic jerk his head toward him and he willingly cleaned the mess from his cock. When he had finished, the Engineer pulled him the other way. 

His stomach felt like it would burst.  His cock was throbbing.  When he had gotten hard before them, they had put a tourniquet around the base. The flesh was beginning to turn purple and was painful.  They told him there would be punishment for enjoying it.

“Fuckin’ little whore.” the Sniper spat, digging his nails into the skin on the Scout’s back.

He shoved Jay’s front half onto the floor when the Scout gave a miserable cry of pain. He kept it under his palm and in a mess of blood and semen on the floor.  His dark eyes were hateful as Jay trembled.

“Please. . .”

“What did you fuckin’ say?”

Jay’s voice was audible as the Sniper shoved harder, putting more pressure on his stomach.  This earned another, vicious slam to the cold, hard ground.

“Did you just _say_ somethin’?” the Sniper asked again. “That was a _fucking question_!”

Jay’s face was a mess as the Sniper hauled him back by his hair. His legs were painfully spread behind him and under the Australian’s own. The others snickered as his stomach jutted disgustingly and his cock bounced against it. The Sniper jacked the Scout’s head back against his shoulder and put his teeth against the runner’s neck.

“Last time.” he warned.

“I said ‘please!’” Jay cried softly. “Please!”

“Please, _what_?” the Sniper hissed.

“Please, Master.” Jay corrected painfully.

The Sniper grinned hatefully.

“Please.” he mimicked.  “You are a disgusting, filthy pile of vomit.  You deserve to die here, do you hear me?”

Jay nodded.

He cried softly as the Australian shoved his hips against his backside.  His stomach protruded further.

“ _Respond_!”

“Yes, Master.” Jay breathed. “I deserve to die here.”

A scream died in his throat as the Medic shoved a gag into it when the Sniper forcefully bit him and moved in and out of him.  He could feel it burning.  He could feel everything hurting.  When the Sniper came and pulled out of him, he knew he would suffer more.  Though he didn’t know what more they could do to him.

“Disgusting little bastard!”

There was a vicious pain in his ribs when the Medic slammed his boot into his side.  All the Scout could do was whimper as the contents of his bowels emptied. His body hurt worse than usual.  This had been the first time they had allowed the Sniper to fuck him while he was inflated.  He hadn’t had room for everything.

Another kick.

“Get up.”

Jay was slow to respond.  His cock still throbbed and his entrance burned.  His neck had a large, bleeding bite mark from the Sniper.  He mewed when the Medic kicked again and dragged him up by his hair.

“You dirty, little slut!” the German snarled. “To do zhat in our presence vhen you _know_ your _role_!”

Jay felt the gag tighten and his cheeks burn. Blood filtered through the holes and into his mouth. He closed his eyes. His hands went into the straps, his legs into the stirrups.  His body was strapped down to the metal table near the Medi-gun.

“Look at me!”

Jay did as he was told.  His vision swam in and out of focus as the Medic stared down at him hatefully.  He felt a painful grip on his cock as the Engineer handed something to the German.

“If you vant to be treated like a dirty, flizhy slut then zhat is how ve vill treat you.”

The Sniper laughed from somewhere out of sight. 

“So that’s what you made them rings for, Rich! Nice!”

Rings? Rings for what?”

Before Jay could think about the connotations of the Sniper’s words, a horrible, sharp, burning pain radiated through his entire groin.  His eyes opened wide as the Medic fiercely handled his erection.  He began to scream.  He knew he was screaming because the Heavy had come over and put a hand over his face.

His back arched off of the table as the Medic threaded a needle with a heavy gauge of wire through the head of the organ. Blood spilled down the shaft as the Engineer helped insert a bright, silver piece of metal.

Jay thrashed and screamed harder when it continued through the urethra and connected in a tight fit in the glans.  His face was a mess of tears as he felt the vomit come up his throat.

“Filzhy slut.”

Muscles strained against the leather straps keeping his limbs to the table.  Sharp, painful slaps against his chest caused his nipples to harden and his skin to turn red.  Another needle went through the left nipple, opening a hole to slide another, silver hoop into it. Blood trickled across his ribs as the Medic moved to the other.

The entire process lasted thirty minutes.

Their laughter and their vicious words were second only to the immense pain.  He wanted to die. He wanted to disappear.

“Fuckin’ whore.”

The Sniper was finishing cleaning himself off when the Scout vomited.  He watched the Medic direct the Heavy to turn the runner’s head to his side so he didn’t choke.  Good.  Death was too good for that little shit.

“Ornaments for a slut.” the Medic said looking at his work. “Do not move him.  I need zhe Medi-gun on him before ve remove zhe tourniquet.”

Jay breathed through his nose as vomit slid through the holes in the gag.  His saliva helped draw the metallic taste out of his mouth, but it did so slowly.  He felt the rays of the Medi-gun on him as the Medic removed the tourniquet from around his erection.  The gun healed the wounds, but it never stopped the pain.

The Heavy let go of his face to assist the Medic and clean the rest of the room.  Jay could hear the Engineer and the Sniper finish dressing and leave the room.  The bite in his neck throbbed.

He was what they said.

He was a filthy whore.

After a few minutes more, the Medic pulled the Medi-gun from him and glared.

“You vill stay right vhere you are, slut.” he hissed.  “I do not need you destroying zhe hard vork ve just did.  You should be honoured to have Vince’s status in zhis room.”

Jay closed his eyes when the Medic and the Heavy left and slammed the door behind them. He tried to breathe slowly and calm down.  Tears slid down the sides of his face.

Why?

Why would anyone do this to someone else?

The Scout tilted his head to the front.  His arms and legs ached.  He was firmly strapped to the table with little room to move.  His eyes narrowed when he saw the bloody tracks on his cock and the swollen flesh around the ring embedded in it.  The trails of blood on his chest from his nipples were bright red against the white skin.  The metal glistened hatefully.

Jay let his head fall back to the table.  He was still covered in drying semen and blood.  His hair was matted to his face and neck.  His body reeked of it.

Usually they poured cold water on him, but this time they hadn’t.

_They said I was a filthy slut.  I guess they don’t mind fucking a dirty whore._

Jay’s mind was coming to terms.  He painfully closed his eyes and trembled.

The Medic had said he should be grateful to have Vincent’s status.  Did that mean that the Spy had been subjected to these same tortures?

The Scout didn’t want to think of his lover in this kind of pain.  That Spy had suffered so much before he died.  He didn’t want to remember him in pain.

Tears began sliding out of Jay’s eyes again.  His whole abdominal core tightened in response to the violent shivering of his body.  Without warning, the Scout began screaming.

He didn’t care if anyone heard him.  He didn’t care that it was muffled sobs and his body was likely to suffer worse torture.  At that moment, nothing mattered.

Not even his life.

 


	6. Hold On for One More Day

**Hold On for One More Day**

 

He didn’t remember when he had passed out.  He didn’t remember when he had woken up. All he knew when he opened his eyes was that his throat was burning, his body felt hot and the light was dim.  He stared vacantly at the ceiling.

That’s right.  They had mutilated him.

The gag was making his jaw sore and the corners of his mouth raw.  He found it hard to swallow as he tried to tug on the restraints to restore feeling in his limbs. Tingling sent sharp pinpricks up and down his arms and legs.

Jay winced.

Why hadn’t they let him die?  Why hadn’t he just forced himself to throw up when they had left?

That’s right.  Cole promised.

If his teammates kept this up, he wouldn’t survive another 48 hours.  He didn’t have the stamina or the physique that Vincent had.  He was frail and his health was far worse.

He wouldn’t survive another onslaught of the Sniper’s brand of torture.

His entire body tensed as he heard the door open.  He forced himself to stay quiet and stare at the ceiling.  He assumed this would be passive enough.  He couldn’t move.  Then again, his teammates seemed like the type to punish him for not presenting himself to them even when he couldn’t.

“Jay, it’s me.”

The soft, soothing voice echoed over the steel. 

Jay turned his head immediately as Cole ventured into the room.  He made a painful gagging noise in his throat when the other Scout stopped dead and stared.  The taller Scout’s bag slid to the floor as Jay painfully tried to wrench his limbs free.  His face flushed with embarrassment and tears stained his cheeks.

He turned his head away and felt his breath catch in his throat.

_Please. Please end it._

Hands were against him.  They gently stilled his muscles and pulled the gag free. Vomit and blood slid from between the bound Scout’s lips as Cole turned Jay’s head.  Jay gasped for breath and sobbed. The pain was coming back.

Cole had to focus on Jay.  He had to put restraint into his entire body to keep from leaving this room and killing each and every one of the BLUs outside.  His fingers were trembling terribly as he tried to whisper reassuring words in Latin.  Rage filled his veins as he saw the mutilation to Jay’s chest and genitals.  He found it harder to concentrate as he put his hand against Jay’s face.

“Jay. Jay, babe, please look at me.”

His voice was shaking in all the wrong places.

The younger Scout choked on a sob and shook his head.

“ _Lorem ipsum. Et interfice me. Lorem ipsum_.”

Cole’s face changed in a way it hadn’t in a long time.  He shook his head as his eyes filled with unwanted tears.  He forced Jay to look at him as his entire frame trembled.

“No, Jay!” he cried softly. “Please. Please don’t say that.”

“If you. . .h-ha-d any. . . _MERCY_. . .yo. . .you w-would _KILL ME!_ ”

Jay’s voice was hateful and scratchy.  His eyes were red and full of tears.  Blood was running down his chin and was plastered to various parts of his body.

He stopped when he saw the tears streaming from Cole’s eyes.

His face fell.

“Cole. . .”

“I don’t want you to die!” Cole cried. “I am selfish! I _am_ cruel, Jay!  It would be mercy. It would be mercy to kill you. . .to let you go from this pain. . .but I can’t do that!  I cannot throw away something that is still so beautiful to me!  Please don’t ask me to kill you, Jay. Please. Never again. I promise, it’s almost over. Please, just trust me!

“I will kiss you a thousand times a day!  I will run miles for you!  I will give you everything you deserve from this life.  Lucas and I _both_ will!  I just. . .need you to hold on for me. Please, Jay!

“I love you!”

His eyes were a shade of blue that Jay had not seen before.  They were so bright they were almost purple.  The tears stood out against the rugged face.  If he could have touched him, he would have.

“How. . .is _this_ beautiful!?”

Cole winced when Jay stared down at his body.  He knew what his counterpart meant.  He didn’t need to ask.  Still, Cole didn’t find the body unattractive.

He gently put a hand against Jay’s stomach.  He traced the ribs that were pushing against taut, paling skin.  He felt the fever building in him.  He was either getting sick or he had been already. This made him tremble.

“Do you think it makes someone ugly?”

His words were soft and unlike his character.  A distant, faraway look appeared in his eyes as he stared at his hand on Jay’s stomach. His jaw was tight.

“Don’t you?”

Jay’s voice had become a bit calmer, but it was still sore sounding.  It was evident his throat was causing a great amount of pain. He frowned at Cole.

The older Scout waited a moment longer before quietly removing the hand from Jay’s body.  He slowly reached for the hem of the windbreaker he was wearing and pulled it over his head.

If Jay had the ability, he still wouldn’t have been able to form the coherent words necessary for the emotion that welled up in his chest.  His eyes widened and his lips parted in a silent cry.

Cole looked down at the floor as he let the garment in his hands fall to his feet.  He felt Jay’s stare as angry scars glowered from his right clavicle, over his shoulder and down his entire arm. The mottled patches of former burns stretched over his palm and fingers.  In the center of both palms were small, circular scars the size of a nail.

In the older Scout’s nipples were small, golden rings.

“They ran hot nails through them.” Cole whispered. “The ones who did this to me.  They kept getting infected because they wouldn’t heal.  When I met. . .met Lucas. . .he fit me with these and they haven’t hurt since.”

The Scout looked up at Jay.

“He would know your pain exactly.”

Jay’s voice got caught in his throat as tears slid down the sides of his face.

“I’m so sorry!”

Cole moved forward and painfully pressed his hands against Jay’s body to keep it from struggling against the straps.  He was stupid, but he wasn’t stupid enough to ignore the fact that the Medic would notice if Jay had been untied.  If that hadn’t been true, he would have had him untied already.  All he could do was whisper words and offer soft touches.

It killed him.

“Jay. Jay, baby, please, it’s all right.” Cole breathed bringing his face down to where Jay’s hand was restrained.  “Please don’ cry! Please!  It breaks my heart! Goddammit!”

Jay moved his fingers valiantly.  He winced as he felt Cole lean harder against them. Tears pooled in his eyes as he blinked slowly.

This world was a terrible place.

“I hated what they did.”

Jay opened his eyes as Cole spoke again.  He stared as Cole lifted his head and pressed his fingers into his sides.

“They raped me.  Told me I deserved to be punished for what I was.  They had seen me kiss a fellow schoolmate and they busted my ass. Literally.  They had me nailed to a wooden cross.  They were going to burn me, like the witches during the Inquisition.  Fire was the only way to cure me.”

Cole’s body trembled with effort.

He had not told this story to anyone other than Lucas.  Even then, it had been hard.

“The smell of my flesh burning. . .the screaming I did. . .the laughter of these horrible, insane, fucking _bastards_!  Naked on a cross in the snow in front of a goddamn _church_!”

Cole gagged, remembering the smell and the sounds.  His eyes narrowed painfully.

“He put me out.” he breathed. “That Archbishop hadn’t even taken his robes off from Mass yet. He came runnin’. . .with a priest. . .they caught two of them. . .eventually caught the others.  I remember the priest throwin’ up. . .but that Archbishop. . .he got snow over my skin, put it out. He took his robes. . . _holy robes_. . .and he covered me with them. He cast condemnation on the ones who had done this.

“For no reason should lambs of God assault another.  That Jesus did not die on the cross for us to impale another of His Children as He was impaled. When they confessed that they only did it because I was a homo, he physically struck them.”

Cole smiled, tears running down his face.

“I never knew if it was because he thought they were lying or because he knew and was defending me.  It didn’t matter.  We aren’t supposed to exist. But I won’t forget that man’s kindness. I won’t.  He freed me from the cross and he carried me to the hospital a few blocks from the church himself.

“He came and visited with his entourage while I was recovering.  That man gave my life a purpose when I would have otherwise given up.”

Cole closed his eyes and bowed his head.

“He died a year later.” he whispered.  “I was in the hospital and they would not allow me to attend the funeral.  A representative came to the hospital and gave me a letter.  It had a wax seal and everything.  It was a letter from him that he never got to deliver.  He wrote to me often. He always assured me that God had a Plan.

“His last letter was pretty much the same.  We wrote in Latin.  I liked that.  I kept the letters. I still have them, but it has been a long time since I have looked at them.”

Cole looked at Jay again with a pathetic attempt at a smile.

“The ones that assaulted me were minors. They got off pretty much scot free.  But, Michael always assured me they would receive Judgment from a Higher Power.”

“Was that the Archbishop’s name?”

Cole smiled at Jay and carefully brushed the tears out of his eyes.

“Yes.”

“First. . .name basis.” Jay whispered, closing his eyes. “Lucky.”

Cole shook his head and winced when Jay coughed violently.  His face changed when Jay let his head roll to the side and the large, swollen bite in his neck became visible. He glared.

“Jay, who did this?”

Jay was going to ask ‘what’ when he felt Cole’s fingers against his throat.  He trembled.

“The Sniper.” he breathed. “They. . .inflated. . .Sniper always tries to humiliate me.”

Cole shook the anger back as Jay’s voice trailed off.  He moved his hands to Jay’s face and trembled.

He was burning.

“Fuck.”

Jay panted softly as the hands pulled away.  He felt unusually tired.  Maybe it was because Cole was here.  He did feel safe with him.  Even when they worked at Turbine, Jay could remember Cole always having his back.  He even caught him from getting blown apart my sticky mines once.

“Jay, Jay, lift your head.”

The younger Scout’s eyes were glassy as he struggled to comply with his partner’s request.  Everything felt like it was burning. His body was numb from the restraints and the pain. He felt Cole slide something soft beneath his head.  He moaned gratefully.

He hadn’t felt something soft in ages.

Cole set a bottle of water beside Jay’s head and quickly opened a bottle of pills he’d been holding in his other hand.  He winced when Jay started to sweat.  He took out two pills and put the cap back on.

It was too much. What they had done today was too much.

“Open your mouth, Jay.” Cole commanded as gently as he could. “There you go. Swallow!”

Jay whimpered when Cole put the pills against his tongue.  He felt something cool and welcome hit his lips. Water. Clean water.  He drank with greater urgency.  He had forgotten how delicious something so simple could be.

“Easy! You drink too fast and you’re gonna get sick again!” Cole warned softly.

He painfully watched Jay finish the bottle.  He shook his head.

“I don’t have time to waste on Nero.” he whispered more to himself. “This happens whether they are off Respawn or not.”

He looked down as Jay leaned into his touch.  He carefully tried to untangle the strains of messy hair as sweat slid down the younger Scout’s face.

“Jay, can you hear me?”

Jay opened his eyes and nodded.

“I need to know, if I give you a compass can you use it?”

Jay smiled despite the situation.  He wished he could laugh.

He nodded again.

Cole smiled back.

“Good.  How about your muscles?  Can you still walk? Run?”

Jay thought about this for a moment.  Usually, the only movement he received was when his teammates were handling him.  But, he remembered Vincent telling him to move around frequently when he was alive.  He hadn’t done it since he was gone, but he didn’t think he’d lost so much that he couldn’t run for a little while.

“Walk. . .fine. . .” he breathed. “Run. . .maybe for a bit. . .”

“Good!” Cole cried gently. “That’s good.”

The younger Scout enjoyed the soft kiss on his lips before the other pulled away.  He smiled up at the older Scout and shook his head.

“What did you give me?”

“Pain meds.” Cole said, smirking. “I stole them from the doc’s office.  I have been on so much medication that I know what pills are what by looking at them.”

“Thank. . .you.”

“Don’t thank me.” Cole said gently. “I should get you out of here tonight. . .but I promised. I promised to give him 72 hours, okay?  Hold on just another day, okay?”

Jay felt extremely heavy as his body relaxed on the table.  His eyes were closing and his mind was fuzzy.  He could barely hear or feel Cole.

“I will bring more water. . .and something for your fever. . .just. . .hold on. Fight it.

“Please.”

 


	7. Secrets

**Secrets**

 

He was re-awakened by a fierce slamming of the cell room door.  His blue-green eyes were a bit clearer, but his body felt disjointed and hot.  It took him a second to remember what had happened.  His breath wheezed through the gag that had been put back into his mouth.

Was it evening again already?

“Mornin’ you filthy whore.”

Jay closed his eyes and jerked as icy water was dumped over his body.  He coughed and sputtered as the Sniper dropped the bucket he’d brought with him to the floor.  His uniform shirt was open and his pants undone.  A crazed look glinted behind his eyes.

“You didn’ greet me properly.”

The Scout looked up at him pitifully.

What was _he_ doing here?  And was he alone?  What was going on?

Reading the Scout’s expression, the Sniper lifted a bottle of Healing Solution.  He grinned and shook his head.

“Thought we’d enjoy a moment alone, Jay.” he said hatefully.  “Got a few words I want to make sure ya hear before you die.”

A kind of muted panic went through the runner’s body.  His arms tightened in the restraints as the Sniper moved forward.  There was a feeling of hostility that increased.  He knew that the Sniper hated him more than any of his other teammates, but he didn’t know why.  They hadn’t been on close terms as teammates, and even less so now that he was a Comfort Class.

Jay refrained from noise when the gunman pulled on the swollen flesh of his cock.  Pain radiated from the tip as the Sniper ran his thumb over the piercing.

“These looked better on Vince.” the Australian snarled. “Everything did.”

The Scout clenched his eyes closed.  His body began to ache when the Sniper pulled the restraints free of his arms and legs.  The blood returning to empty vessels felt like pinpricks over his skin.

“Get up you fucking cunt.”

The Sniper roughly grabbed the Scout’s hair and dragged him from the table. He forced the youth to his knees and forcefully pressed his thumb and fingers against the flesh near the runner’s jaw. He removed the gag and threw it to the floor before removing his length from his trousers.

He glared.

“Start suckin’.”

Jay did as he was told.  He let his tongue move over the shaft and the veins.  He tried not to whimper when the Sniper pulled his hair and forced him to move faster. Fingers dug into his scalp painfully while the gunman jammed his hips into his face.  After a few moments, the Sniper shoved his lips all the way down causing the Scout to gag unexpectedly.

“I’da given that Spy the fuckin’ world.  Yet, he loved a little bitch like _you_.  He _loved YOU_!”

The Scout trembled as the Sniper roared and came against the back of his throat.  He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t swallow and he couldn’t breathe. He began to feel light headed.

This wasn’t going to end well.

“You ungrateful little shit!”

Jay coughed violently and dispelled both the Sniper and the subsequent release.  He gasped for breath and made a feeble noise in his throat when the gunman dragged him to the other side of the room.

“When I cum in your fuckin’ mouth you are expected to fuckin’ _swallow_ it.”

The Scout whimpered as he was thrown against the metal wall.  He did not resist when the Sniper secured shackles attached to chains around his wrists.  His arms were aching from being restrained all night.  Now, they hung above his head, blood draining back down toward his shoulders.

“Swallow, and be grateful for the fuckin’ honour.”

Jay started to panic as the Sniper slid a sharp, tight collar around his throat.  Over the existing bite marks, pain began to radiate.  He shook as pricks of pain erupted around the remaining flesh.

_Not this collar. Please. Anything but that!_

Tears swelled in his eyes as he felt the gunman attach a chain to the back of his collar and yank on it sharply. Blood began to trickle from beneath the studded leather.  His lips parted, but he remained silent.

“Make one, fuckin’ sound and I will kill you right here in my own, two hands.” the Sniper whispered against the Scout’s ear.  “I will fuck you so hard you’ll bleed out, you understand me?”

“Ye. . .s, Mas. . .ter.”

His voice was shaking and his body convulsing.  It was too hot and cold.  His mind was a mess of fever and terror. 

The Sniper grinned.

“Good.”

Jay pulled back against the chains and bowed his head when a horrible, splitting pain crossed his back.  He sobbed silently and began to tremble harder. It had been a long time since the Sniper had whipped him.

The whip cracked down again across the first wound. Ruby red blood began falling down the white, broken skin. Another blow hit the Scout’s spine. When the fourth blow struck, the runner vomited.

“Disgusting, little bastard.”

Jay clenched his eyes shut and ground his teeth.  A fifth and sixth blow followed in quick succession. His body was on fire. The collar had small, needle like points sewn into it.  They weren’t long enough to kill, but the harder you pulled, the more they hurt. Between the whip lashes and the needles, Jay prayed the Sniper would end it.

The Sniper viciously rounded out the beating at ten before lowering the whip in his hand.  He glared at the raw, bleeding back.  He hated this bitch.  He hated him.

Had it not been for this Scout, he probably could have had the Spy.

He wouldn’t have had to do what he did.

“Losin’ Vince for you was a waste.” he said aloud, dropping the whip.  “I’da killed you instead if I was assured he wouldn’t off _himself_ after the fact.  But he was so damn willing to put himself in the way for you.  He actually _would_ have died for you.”

Jay’s eyes were narrow as he stared at the wall.  Blood ran down from between his lips and from around his neck.  He trembled as he felt the Sniper drop the chain and move closer. He closed his eyes and remained still as rough, calloused hands wrapped around his neck.  The needles dug deeper and drew more blood.

 _Please.  Just kill me.  Kill me, too_.

The Scout’s eyes re-opened as his mind processed his last thought.

Kill him _too_?

“Instead, he spurns me. . .rejects my advances and proposals.” the Sniper hissed, squeezing tighter.  “Tells me that he will _never_ love a monster.”

A feeble cry died on Jay’s lips as the gunman angrily slammed his head against the wall.  The room spun and his eyes clouded over.  His body shook when the Sniper roared and did it a second time.

“Said that he would _die loving YOU_.”

Jay was blacking out when the Sniper put his lips against his ear.  His body was screaming.  His mind was screaming. Everything was burning him from the inside out.

“So, I had to kill him.” the Australian rasped. “I injected him with a bacteria or virus the doc’s been experimenting with. . .he struggled through it a lot longer than I would have thought he would.  And, you know the best part?”

Jay heard the Sniper chuckle as he wheezed for air.  His face was red from the effort and the blood running from a wound in his forehead.

“He was still alive when we buried him!”

The Sniper laughed harder when Jay’s body pathetically made an attempt to attack him.  He let the Scout struggle and gasp before slamming his head so hard against the metal he was unconscious. He relished the deflated noise the runner’s lungs made as he crumpled forward. He enjoyed watching the sinewy arms hang lifeless above the bleeding, broken body.

“He was still whispering for you when we put him in the fuckin’ ground.”

The Australian glared again and stood up.  He went to the table and grabbed the bottle of Healing Solution.  He carelessly dumped it over the Scout’s back and his head.  He did not care if the runner died.  At this point, he was willing to turn his lust over to the team’s new Spy.

He wouldn’t touch that new Scout with a stick that was attached to a ten foot pole.  He’d heard from others what the bastard had done to the RED Spy before he was recruited.  Unless he was rendered unconscious, he knew that kid wouldn’t give up until he died.

It wasn’t worth it.  The weaker ones were easier to prey on.

The Sniper scowled and threw the bottle on the floor.  He made himself decent and quietly left the room.

Against the wall, hanging from the chains, Jay’s body involuntarily shook.  From the Scout’s bruising, left eye, a bloody tear slid down his face.

 

………………………………..

 

_“Vhat in zhe hell!? Vhat did you do!?”_

_“Came for a mornin’ top off! The little bitch spit up!”_

_“Vhy didn’t you come GET ME!?”_

_“What’s the problem, doc?  I dumped healin’ solution on him.  The wounds scabbed a bit!”_

_“You imbecile!  The side of his head is busted open!  He could have a concussion!”_

_“So? Brain damage makes him stupider. Big deal.”_

_“He may very vell DIE.”_

_“Good riddance to him then.”_

_“Pauling and Helen are ZHIS CLOSE to discovering vhat ve are doing.  Zhey found Memphis and Torrance at Gold Rush. If zhey find JAY, it vill be game over.”_

_“They won’t find him, doc.  They didn’t find Vince or any of the others, did they?  I am good at what I do, mate.”_

_“Zhat’s vhat vorries me. Urgh!  Zhese vounds are permanent!  Zhe Medi-Gun vill be useless on zhem after zhis much time!  No more! No more of zhis ‘private’ time unless you come get me AFTER. Do you understand me!?”_

_“If he lives that long.”_

_“He HAS to live.  I refuse to let anozher die because you had an unrequited crush on it!”_

_“Fuck you, Doc.”_

 


	8. Escape Plan

**Escape Plan**

 

“Jay! Jay, baby, please wake up!”

There was warmth.  It was different than he was used to, but he couldn’t remember how or why.  Everything was hurting. His chest and groin were burning and his back felt like he had a sunburn that had eaten through his skin.  He had a pounding headache and everything sounded disjointed and strange.

“Jay, please wake up!”

There were drops of water falling.  Was it raining?  It didn’t feel like he was outside.  Maybe he had forgotten the window was open.  The voice sounded vaguely familiar.  He couldn’t place it.  His eyes felt heavy.  His mouth was dry and his muscles were sore.  Everything was a weight.

“Jay. . .Jay. . .”

Jay Jallette slowly managed to get his eyelids open.  He winced against light that was too bright for him.  He moaned faintly.  He didn’t have the energy to speak.

“Jay!?”

A shadow blocked out the light.  It was fuzzy at first.  It took a second for his eyes to adjust and bring everything to focus.  When it did, everything felt like it was going to topple. He tried to reach out his arms to steady himself.

“It’s okay! You’re okay! I’m here!”

It was a person.  They had beautiful eyes.  They were almost purple.  Was he. . .was he crying?

Cole painfully brushed the hair out of Jay’s eyes as the smaller Scout stared at him curiously. He tried to keep debris away from the wound in his head.  When he had come to the Comfort Cell that night, he had been sorely tested.  So much so he had to leave the room and slam his bat into something inanimate.

He’d gotten Jay set down on his stomach so he could put cool compresses on the whiplashes.  He hadn’t fully realised the extent of the damage until he saw the bruising wound in the side of Jay’s skull and face.  When Jay wouldn’t wake up, he thought he’d failed.  He’d almost lost it.

The older Scout tried wiping the tears out of his eyes with his other hand.  He trembled and shook his head.

“Jay, I’m so sorry.” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I let them do this to you.”

“Who?”

Cole felt a horrible stab in his side.  He stared at Jay for a moment while the other Scout looked at him, confused.

“Who?”

“Is. . .there. . .an owl here?” Jay asked faintly. “Who are you. . .talking about?  Who. . .are you?”

The air left Cole’s lungs.  He fell onto his backside from the balls of his feet that he’d been balancing on previously.  The colour drained from his dark face.  He stared at his younger brother with a terrible wince.

“You. . .don’t know. . .who I am?” he breathed.

“Should I?”

Jay watched the boy looking at him make a horrible, strangled noise in his throat.  He noted the long fingers with mottled scars on them as they pressed against the young man’s lips.  He had obviously upset him.

“I’m. . .sorry.” he whispered. “I. . .didn’t. . .mean. . .”

He stopped when a sharp pain echoed from the back of his head.  He moaned and closed his eyes.  There was a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach as his body trembled.  He felt warm, shaking digits brushing his hair back and speaking to him gently.

_Latin. He’s speaking Latin. Warm hands. . .purple. . .no. . .indigo eyes. Indigo. . .RED, BLU, pain. . .COLE!_

Cole sobbed and drew the upper half of Jay’s body onto his lap when the younger Scout cried out.  He whispered sweet nothings into his hair and muffled the sound against his windbreaker. He let his tears slide onto his brother.  It was breaking his heart.

“Cole!”

The older Scout shifted the younger one back so he could look into his eyes.  He trembled again when Jay looked back at him with clearer, tear stained irises.  Jay’s fingers clutched at his jacket while he pulled himself up.

“Jay? Do you. . .do you recognise me!?”

Jay smiled faintly.

“Your eyes are hard. . .to forget. . .even with my. . .head bashed in. . .”

Cole laughed nervously.

“You. . .didn’t. . .remember for a bit.”

Jay winced.

“My head. . .he bashed it a few times.  It hurts.”

Cole held onto him as Jay collapsed forward.  He shifted his emotion back into his strength.  He looked at Jay carefully.

“Who did, Jay?”

“The Sniper.”

Cole’s eyes hardened. The sharp pupils constricted dangerously as he hissed.

“Did he do this to your back?”

“Yes.”

Jay painfully looked up at his older brother.  He shook his head.

“He killed Vincent, Cole!” he cried softly. “He told. . .me!  He. . .he buried him _alive_!”

Cole held Jay as tightly as he could without hurting him.  He glared and let Jay sob for a moment.  After a few seconds, he leaned the Scout back and shook his head.

“Jay, I know you are in pain. I know you’re hurtin’, but you gotta listen to me. Are you listening?”

Jay nodded, tears running down his face.

“They left the chains off of you.  I heard the Medic muttering about how hurt you were.  I am not waiting any longer.”

A look of fear passed through Jay’s eyes as Cole spoke.  He trembled and held onto Cole tighter.

“No.” he whispered frantically. “Please, don’t!”

Cole firmly took Jay’s face in his hands and pressed their lips together.  Jay whimpered and panted for breath when they parted again.

“You aren’t dyin’ here, Jay.” he said softly. “And I won’t either.  But you _have_ to trust me. Do you trust me!?”

Jay fought back a sob and nodded.

“Good. Do you remember when I asked about the compass and your legs?” Cole asked easing Jay up.

He held the younger Scout steady as Jay wobbled a bit.

Jay nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Cause now we’re puttin’ it into practise.”

Jay looked at Cole, terrified, as the older Scout stripped off his windbreaker, shirt and shoes.  He watched as his brother turned to him completely naked, clothes in his hand.  His face flushed.  Cole had a beautiful body.

Cole grinned despite himself.

“You like?”

Jay blushed harder.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Cole answered.

He knelt down and stared at Jay seriously.

“I know you are in pain, and I know it hurts, but I am sending you somewhere where no one is going to lay a fuckin’ hand on you, do you hear me?”

Jay nodded.

“Can you run?”

Jay winced.

“It. . .will be hard with the concussion. . .”

“I know, but if you willed yourself hard enough, could you get a mile, a mile and a half?”

Jay nodded.

“Yes.”

“Good. Then that is exactly what you’re gonna do.”

Cole wasted no time in getting his look alike in his clothes.  He helped Jay put them on and tie the shoes.  They were a little big on him, but no one would notice.  He hoped no one was up, but that might be pushing it.

Jay looked at Cole, frightened, as the older runner put one of his baseball caps on his head and pulled it down over his injured forehead.  He allowed his brother to slip the book bag he had brought with him over his shoulders.

“This compass, follow it East out of Well.” Cole said firmly. “Do not stop, do not talk, do not do anything but run.  There is something important in that bag.  Go directly East until you run into a piece of shit lookin’ van with a giant eagle airbrushed on the side.  It’s faded, but you’ll fuckin’ see it. It’s a goddamn eye sore.

“When you get to that van, knock on the door _three times_. Do you hear me, Jay? _Three_. When the BLU Sniper answers the door, tell him you’re lookin’ for _Lucas Riley_. You got that? Lucas Riley.  Tell him that Cole’s loose.”

Jay felt his brain throbbing.  His vision was still fuzzy, but it wasn’t bad enough he couldn’t see anything.  His head ached and his body protested the clothes, but he understood. This was necessary. He painfully reached for his brother.

“Cole, please. . .”

Cole smiled and gestured to the pistol and the Sandman he’d brought with him.

“Nothing will touch me, Jay.” he breathed. “And if they do, you’ll already be gone.  I’ll go to Respawn and I’ll come find you at Luke’s.  I may not get another chance.  I need to get you out of here now.  I won’t let that fuckin’, backward dingo hurt you again.  I won’t risk losing you.”

Jay smiled and let Cole run his fingers across his cheeks.  He carefully put his hands against his brother’s and stared at him as earnestly as he could.

“Thank you, Cole!” he said softly. “Thank you for saving me.”

Cole smiled back.

“Don’t get all soft on me.” he joked. “You remember?”

“Compass. East. Keep running. Eagle on van. Eye-sore. Three times. Lucas Riley. Cole’s Loose.” Jay repeated with a bit of effort.

Cole nodded appreciatively.

“Not bad for a guy with a concussion.”

He glared as a loud boom echoed through the base.  He turned to Jay as the runner trembled.

“You have to go, Jay.  Don’t stop.  Walk out of the Base as normally as you can.  The second you are out, start running.”

“What about the sentry perimeter.” Jay whispered. “They wrote me off the system.”

“You are invisible to them.” Cole answered. “Civilian. They won’t know it’s you.”

Cole looked at his brother surprised as Jay put his hands on his face.  His eyes softened as Jay looked at him carefully.

“It’ll be okay, Jay.” he breathed. “I’ll come back. I promise.”

“I know you will.”

Cole resisted the urge to put his arms around Jay’s waist.  He let his hands fall onto his hips while Jay pressed their lips together.  He felt Jay’s tongue slide tentatively over his bottom lip and he quickly parted them to let it pass.  He moaned softly.

Jay parted from Cole and panted gently against his lips.

“I love you.”

Cole lifted Jay’s face upward.  He stared into the eyes that were the bluest green he’d ever seen.  They were like their father’s eyes, but so much kinder.  There was still a light left in them.  Maybe he was the only one who saw it.

“I love you, too.”

They kissed a second time before murmurs from the other side of the wall distracted them.  Cole gently shook his head and pressed a small, metal compass into Jay’s hand.

“Go.  Find Lucas.  Get this bag to him.  You don’t need to know what’s in it, he knows. Do you understand?”

Jay nodded.

“Please don’t die.” he whispered painfully. “Please don’t leave me here.”

Cole shook his head.

“I’m not dyin’ here, babe. . .but I cannot make the same promise for your other, fuckin’ teammates.”

He pushed Jay toward the door.  He followed him to it and cracked it open.  The hallway was clear.

“Be calm.” Cole whispered against Jay’s ear.  “I’m the only one that wears a windbreaker at night.  Even if they see you, they’ll think you’re me and they won’t fuckin’ touch you.”

“Why not?” Jay whispered back.

“Because they know what I did to our dad.”

Jay took comfort in this and let Cole kiss him goodbye.  His stomach was cramping from nerves and his body ached.  The adrenaline was helping as Jay walked into the hallway.  He hadn’t been outside in so long.

“I love you.  No matter what happens, do _not_ come back, Jay.” Cole breathed. “Run away.”

Jay turned long enough to see the door close behind him.  He trembled only for a moment before taking the first step down the hall. 

 


	9. Forgive Me Father for I Have Sinned

**Forgive Me Father for I Have Sinned**

 

The evening lights were dim.  They always had been to save on electricity.  Given the way he was limping and looked, Jay was grateful for the cover.

He moved along the wall carefully.  He stuck to the shadows as his fingers trailed over the metal. He breathed slowly and kept his eyes trained ahead.  Not much had changed since he’d been dragged into that room.

Jay saw a shadow shift around the corner.  His body tensed sharply as a long, tall figure appeared at the other end of the hall.  The formidable blade and the outline of a hat were all of the items he needed to know who it was.

He felt his chest tighten.

His hands flew to the collar of the windbreaker and pulled it up over his injured face.  He huddled into the jacket and forced himself to breathe slowly.  The smell of bubblegum and cigarettes filled his nostrils.  Cole’s clothes smelled good.

This put the Scout at ease as he and the Sniper crossed paths.  He glared from under the rim of his hat.  Cole had been right.  The Sniper would have killed him.

“Noice job you did on the fuckin’ door back there.”

Jay refrained from looking up when the gunman spoke.  He did not say anything and tried to keep moving.

“You are a real piece of work.” the Sniper continued. “Chock full of Yankee crazy.”

“Fuck you.”

The words came out before he could stop them.  Even though his voice was hoarse, he still felt the hatred he wished he could have shown to the Sniper all this time.  He turned hatefully, the dim light casting eerie shadows across the bits of his skin that showed.

The Sniper looked at him curiously.

“So, you _do_ talk.”

Jay hissed scathingly.

“Watch your back you fuckin’ dingo.” he spat, repeating the words he’d heard Cole use. “Keep it up and you’ll have more to worry about than the RED team.”

“Oh, really? Why’s that, you little shit?” the Sniper jeered.

“Cause when you least expect it I’ll be on your back and _chewin’_ on it.”

The Sniper raised an eyebrow and watched the Scout turn away and slink off.  He felt a strange change in the wind as the runner disappeared around the corner.  Something felt off.

He gripped his kukri tighter in his left hand and made for the Comfort Cell.

He’d take out his aggression on that stupid whore.

 

……………………………

 

Cole looked up from the restraints he’d been inspecting.  He heard the footsteps in the hall outside.  His eyes turned into narrow slits as he went to his Sandman and picked it up. His jaws clenched and his teeth gnashed together.

He hoped to fucking God it was the Sniper.

He fucking prayed it was.

“Forgive Me, Father, for the Sins I am about to Commit.” the Scout breathed, gripping his bat tighter. “Forgive me, Michael, for doing to another what was done to me.”

He felt every synapse in his body come alive as the door opened and he caught sight of his teammate’s kukri and uniform.  He grinned maniacally.

“I fear no evil as this fuckin’ fucker deserves every, fuckin’ bat crack I swing at him.”

The door was closed and the Sniper entered the cell before realising it was Cole in the room and not Jay.  He raised his kukri in defence when he saw the other Scout standing buck naked with his baseball bat out.

“What the fuckin’ hell!?”

Cole swung his bat forward and pointed it at the Sniper.

“Evenin’, John.” he hissed. “I believe your face and my bat have a date.  It’s long overdue for the shit you’ve done to my brother.”

The Scout leapt forward when the Sniper tried to leave the Cell.  He laughed and swung his bat into the side of the Sniper’s leg.  He grinned as the tall figure cried out and collapsed.  For another good measure he took another swing.  The leg went crooked.

Cole kicked the kukri out of the Sniper’s reach and pressed the end of his bat into the Australian’s throat.  He glared down at him with indigo eyes on fire.

“I am going to fuck you up beyond repair, you sick fuckin’ dingo.” he said hatefully. “For every scar, bruise, wound and injury you have _ever_ inflicted on him, I am going to make you suffer. I am going to fuckin’ break you.”

When the Sniper opened his mouth to cry out, the Scout slammed his bat into the Australian’s jaw, knocking it off center. He scowled.

“Get used to it, _whore_.” he hissed. “You’re gonna be down on that floor a long time.”

His face melted into a grin.

“We’ll have fun until your friends come to play.” he said aloud. “And then I will paint this fuckin’ room red with their blood.

“You all will pay with this with your fuckin’ _lives_.

“I swear it before God and all the tombs of the _Saints_.”

 

…………………………..

 

Jay was running as fast as he could.  The second his feet touched dry earth he was moving.  He held the compass up every few minutes to make sure he hadn’t veered off course.  The moonlight was heavy in the sky as he moved through the desert.

He’d been terrified the Sniper was going to come back and figure him out, but he never did.

“Please, be okay, Cole.”

His breath was ragged in his chest as he ignored the pain in his body.  He forced himself to keep going.  Dust followed in his wake as he moved.  He pulled the book bag up on his shoulders and gasped.

Jay stumbled a few times.  He caught himself and kept moving. 

He was almost there.  He could feel it.

After a few more minutes of running, a large mountain ridge peaked over the horizon.  Even as he came upon it, he could see the outline of a van with several lights on inside.

He smiled.

That had to be it.

Pure adrenaline kept his body from collapsing.  He pushed himself as sweat poured off of his body.  His feet were silent as he got closer. He could see the horrible rendition of the eagle Cole had mentioned on the side of the faded blue van.

Jay tried to catch his breath as he fell against the door and pounded three times.  His eyes were narrow and blood was starting to stain through the windbreaker.  He breathed harder when he heard locks clicking inside.  He moved out of the way in time to avoid being struck with the door.

“What the. . .”

“Lucas. . .Riley!” Jay wheezed painfully. “Looking for him!”

The tall, dark skinned Australian looked down at the bleeding young man at his door.  He noticed Cole’s clothes immediately.  His green eyes were narrow as he took his hand off of the SMG he had been holding out of sight.  His long, shaggy brown hair was a mess in his eyes as light came out from behind him.

A look of realisation passed through the Sniper’s face.

“Jesus. . . _JAY_?!”

Jay winced terribly.

“Lucas Riley?”

“That’s me.”

“Cole’s loose!”

The Sniper bent forward and grabbed the Scout before he fell to the ground.  He stared with disbelief at all of the blood that was staining the young man’s back.  He cursed and removed the hat from the Scout’s head.  He dragged Jay upward and into the van.

Jay whimpered from the pain.  He shook uncontrollably.  He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t cool down.  His body hurt so badly.

He’d made it though.  He’d done it.

“I did it. . .Cole.”

Jay smiled as the Sniper slammed the door shut and locked it.  He let the Sniper put him against something soft.  He looked up into the deep, green eyes that stared back at him.

“Jay.  Can you still hear me?”

The Scout nodded as Lucas removed the book bag from his shoulders.  He winced when the Snipers hands touched his neck.

“Fuckin’ Christ.” the Sniper murmured.  “What did they do to ya?”

“Everything.” the Scout whispered back. “I wouldn’t. . .recommend it. . .”

Lucas painfully tried to smile back at the runner when he smiled up at him.  Blood was staining the Scout’s lips and teeth.  This kid was hurt bad.

“I need you to hold on, Jay, okay?  I am goin’ to get you to someone who can help.”

“Cole. . .”

“Cole will be fine.” Lucas said tightly. “He can take care of himself. Though he and I will have a talk about it later.  Stay here.  Try to stay awake, Jay.  I need you to do that for me, okay?”

Jay nodded as the Sniper went to the front of his truck.  He stared at the soft pillows and blankets around him.  Everything smelled like bubblegum, cigarettes and gunpowder.

He smiled.

He liked it.

Lucas pressed down a button on his CB Radio.

“August! Jason! Can either of you read me, over!”

He waited a couple of seconds before pressing the button again.

“Dammit, you two!  It is a fuckin’ emergency! I know _one_ of you is there! Answer me! OVER!”

This time a tired, weary voice answered back.

“Lucas, zhis better be important.”

“Doc, it is Jay.” Lucas said immediately. “Cole took matters into his own hands.”

“ _VHAT?_ ”

Lucas sighed as incomprehensible German followed. He pressed the button on his receiver.

“Doc, we’ll deal with it later.  He had to have a reason.  Jay is hurt bad.  He needs a Medic, _now_. He’s bleeding pretty badly and his head’s busted open.  He ran from Well.”

“Get him to Gravel Pit. It is zhe closest!” August von Dette ordered angrily. “Nero is going to be fit to be tied!  I vill notify Jason and Christov that you are arriving.”

“You got it, doc.” Lucas said aloud. “You?”

“I am going to find Nero and Wallace.  Zhey vere vorking on somezhing important.  As soon as Vlad and I have found zhem, ve vill move on to Gravel Pit to assist. Over and out.”

“Roger. Out.”

The Sniper put his radio back and quickly got out of the driver seat.  He came back to Jay on his bed and stopped.

Jay’s eyes were narrow as the Scout’s hands lingered on the contents of the bag that he had opened. Tears slid down his cheeks as he saw pictures of Memphis and Torrance, the two Scouts that Cole had told him about.  He saw pictures of several Spies and another Scout.  There was evidence and tape and reports.  He felt the Sniper’s hands on him when he found pictures of himself.

“C’mon, kit.” Lucas crooned gently.  “You don’ need to be seein’ this.”

Jay let him take the items away.  He trembled on the bed.

He was cold.

“Hold on, Jay.” Lucas said softly. 

He made sure to put the book bag in the passenger seat.

“I’m gonna get you somethin’ for the pain.”

Jay didn’t say anything.  He curled into a ball and trembled harder.

The Sniper wasted no more time.  In a few seconds, he had his van started and was tearing down the one highway through the Badlands toward Gravel Pit.

 


	10. Let Freedom Ring

**Let Freedom Ring**

 

“Jesus.  August wasn’t kidding.”

A man of slim build and medium height turned on several lights above a table as the BLU Sniper brought the injured Scout into the Medical Ward at Gravel Pit.  His stormy, green eyes stared from underneath his rectangular lenses as he motioned for the larger Heavy nearby to start an IV.  The Medic’s olive skin was paler than usual.

“Seven months or more in that hell.” Lucas breathed setting Jay down on the table.  “God only knows what they did to him.”

His hands were careful and gentle as they moved Jay’s head so his face was turned up toward the light.  He winced and pushed the Scout’s hair back.  He could see why Cole was so smitten with him.  Even out of his prime, the young runner had a delicate body and graceful features.

“Jay, my name is Jason.  Can you acknowledge me?”

Jay painfully dragged his eyelids open and winced against the bright light. His breath wheezed in and out of his throat as he felt hands and fingers against him.  He trembled.

“Please. . .”

“It’s a’ight, Jay.”

The Scout felt a little relieved seeing the Sniper come into view. 

“This is the Doc, out at Gravel Pit where you used to be.” Lucas said calmly and quietly. “Do you remember?”

Jay felt a smile tug on his lips.

“Ja. . .Jason.” he answered.

Jason D’Augustine grinned from beside him.

“Yeah, it’s me, Jay.” he said nodding. “You’re going to be fine, okay?”

The Scout whimpered as his skin prickled in the cool air of the Med Ward.  He closed his eyes and willed the pain in his body to go away.  How he wanted to sleep and never wake up.

Lucas Riley’s face clouded over as he saw the silver metal glaring from swollen, red skin.  His eyes were piercing, narrow slits as he took in the vicious bite wound and the bleeding whiplashes visible around the Scout’s ribs.

“Sons of fuckin’ bitches. . .!”

Jason moved to restrain the Sniper as the gunman turned to the door.

“No! Luke, stop!” the Medic hissed vehemently.

“They are goin’ta fuckin’ _pay_!” the Sniper roared.

“I am sure they are, Lucas.” Jason said calmly. “Cole will _make_ them pay.”

Lucas snarled.

“This goes too far, mate!”

“I know it does, but there is no going back.” Jason said over the Sniper. “You have to stay here and protect Jay.  That is why Cole sent him to you and nobody else first.  He’s counting on you to be here for him.  He’s trusting you to care for him in his absence.  Do you get that?”

Lucas eased back reluctantly.  He frowned.

“Bet it was that fuckin’ homicidal maniac they have for a Sniper.” he hissed.

“I am sure, but I will need all the help I can get until August and the others get here.  Will you help me keep him calm?”

The Sniper stared at the door and then turned back to the Medic with a nod.

“A’ight.  What do I need to do.”

Jason smiled easier.

“Just let him know nothing bad is going to happen to him.” he answered.

Both men went back to the Scout’s side.  IV’s, tubes and equipment appeared around the pale, broken body as Jay wheezed.  The light was getting dimmer.  Sounds were getting fainter. His body ached badly.

 _I can see why Cole likes the Sniper._  

Jay’s mind slowly worked through thoughts as people moved around him.  He could feel the Sniper’s fingers against him and he smiled faintly.

_He has amazingly soft hands for a gunman.  He must be very worried about Cole.  He probably hates having to stay here watching me._

“Shh, kit.  It will be a’ight.  Yer in good hands, okay?”

Lucas’ voice was soothing as Jason asked for numbers from Christov.  The Sniper felt the Scout’s fingers tighten around his.  He stared down into the blue green eyes with pain.  The orange tinted aviators hid a good portion of his worry, but he could sense Jay knew.

“I’m. . .sorry.”

The Sniper shook his head.

“Don’ be, kit.” he whispered. “Got nothin’ ter be sorry for.”

Tears slid out of Jay’s eyes.

“Cole. . .he. . .loves. . . y-y-you. . .and. . .he’s. . .in danger. . .”

Lucas smiled faintly.

This kid was too cute.

“He’d appreciate the concern, Jay, but it’s unfounded.  Cole has a lotta anger.  If you get on his bad side he is a vicious enemy. He could rip your throat out with his bare hands if you pissed him off enough.  He cares about _you_ more than himself, kit.

“When you disappeared, _he_ is the one that revealed what was going on at Gold Rush to Nero.”

Jay’s eyes widened.

“What?”

Lucas nodded.

“That was Cole.  He tried to stop them from hurting them Scouts out there cause he thought it was you. . .he blames himself for the deaths of those two and the Spy at Tower.”

The Sniper was grave for a moment.

“He has been tearing up the Badlands for the last, couple months lookin’ fer ya, kit.”

Jay was speechless.  He didn’t know how to take this information.  Cole had been the one to get the Comfort Class eradicated?  Then, why did he tell him it had been Nero?

“Luke, his brain tissue is swelling.” Jason said worriedly.  “If we don’t allow him to rest, he is going to be worse for the wear.”

“So, let him rest.” Lucas replied.

Jason shook his head.

“It isn’t that easy, Lucas.” he said softly.  “I have to put him in a coma.”

The Sniper glared.

“He has a fuckin’ concussion, doc.”

“I know that, but if I _don’t_ put him into a medically induced coma now, his brain may continue to swell causing untold damage.  I need to relieve the pressure and allow his body to recover.”

“Will he wake up?”

Jason frowned.

“I cannot be certain.  His body has been through an amazing amount of stress.  By looking at him I can tell he’s dehydrated, malnourished and has an infection.  But, I have a good feeling, Luke. If I do this, he’ll pull through.”

“Shouldn’t you wait for August?”

“No need. I’m here.”

Jason and Lucas turned as an entourage of people entered the Med Ward behind a tall, broad shouldered German with piercing, green eyes and silver spectacles.  From behind him, a BLU Spy with peppered black hair and steel blue eyes stepped away from a taller man dressed in civilian clothes.

“Jay!”

Lucas held out his arm to stop the advancing Spy.

“Nero, you’re only goin’ ter work yourself up into a panic.” he said quickly. “Stay with Wally and keep calm.”

The Spy looked up at him scathingly.

“He’s right, Nero. Stay back.”

The other BLU Medic stepped forward with a quiet, timid looking Heavy at his side.  The blue eyes of the Heavy looked down at his counterpart.

“Docktor, vill leetle Scout be allvight?”

“In due time, Vlad.” the German whispered gently.

He turned to Nero.

“Vait vith Wallace, Nero.”

Nero DeLaroux glared at his teammates before relenting and sliding back to the hazel eyed brunette still standing by the door.  The taller man wrapped an arm around his waist in a gesture of re-assurance.

August von Dette looked down at Jay as he came up to the Scout’s side.  He smiled kindly and nodded his head.

“Given zhe circumstances, _schatz_ , I believe Jason is right.” he said softly.

Jay smiled back.

“I under. . .stand.” he whispered.  “It. . .won’t hurt. . .will it?”

August shook his head.

“Nein.”

Jay nodded weakly.

“It hurts.” he said aloud. “Everything hurts.  Please. Help me.”

“Jason, Christov, Vlad, let’s move.” August said quickly.  “Ve start immediately.”

Jason went to the head of Jay’s bed while the two Heavies worked in tandem to bring the Medics what they requested.  The younger, BLU Medic carefully pulled liquid from two bottles.  He waited until August had nodded before smiling at Jay.

“Jay, can you look at me?”

Jay complied.

“You’re going to go to sleep for a little while, okay?” Jason asked carefully.  “Do you understand?”

Jay nodded.

“When you wake up, hopefully it will hurt a lot less.” the Medic continued sympathetically. “You are in good hands.  We will not hurt you.”

“I know.”

Jay smiled.

“Tell Cole I love him?”

Jason smiled back and nodded.

“I will." 

“Let’s. . .do it. . .doc. . .”

Jay stared up at the light above him.  He felt the drugs enter the veins in his hand as he kept his focus on the lights.  Sounds were fading as his eyes got heavy.  Darkness was crowding around the outsides of his vision.  His body began sinking farther from the busy movement around him.

He felt a smile tug at his lips as his eyes closed.

It didn’t hurt anymore.

 

…………………………………………

 

Lucas Riley frowned as the sun rose above the horizon.

They’d been working for almost five hours straight.  Jay was stronger than he looked.  He had to give the smaller Scout credit.  Despite complications and risks, the young Bostonian proved he was harder to kill than the regular garden variety.

The Sniper sighed and took a final drag off of his cigarette.  He stomped it beneath his boot and made to return to the inside of the Base.  He looked up, alarmed, as sirens wailed from nearby.

Lucas turned around and stared.  It was well before starting time.  What in the hell was going on so early in the morning?

He turned sharply as a figure came up from the distance.  He pulled his SMG up and pointed it toward the shadow.  His eyes were cold.

As the sun crested the BLU Base at Gravel Pit, the light struck the glistening body of the BLU Scout for 2Fort.  Blood ran down naked limbs and across a tanned face.  Hateful, sated, indigo eyes stared as a bat dragged along behind him in the sand.

Lucas lowered his weapon and stared with a sense of disbelief.

“Jesus.” he breathed softly.

Cole Merquise-Justine grinned as he stopped a few meters from where the Sniper stood.  He shook his head.

“Nope. . .but I like to believe I’m the next best thing.”

The Scout dropped his weapon and let the Sniper crush him in strong, scarred arms.  He smiled helplessly as the Australian buried his face in his hair.

“Geez, Luke.” he whispered. “I leave for a few hours and you turn into a pussy.”

“Don’ ever do anything that stupid ever again!” Lucas ordered pulling away.  “You had me worried SICK!”

Cole was surprised when he stared up at his partner.  He saw the tears slide down Lucas’ face as he tilted his head.

“I’m sorry, Lucas.” he said softly. “But I had to do it.  They woulda killed him.”

“You always act rash about these things!” Lucas argued. “Ya never think about what your actions are goin’ta do ter others!”

The Scout smiled almost sweetly and dragged bloody digits across the Sniper’s cheek.

“I believed in my partners.”

He let Lucas hug him tightly a second time.  He wrapped his arms around the Australian and shook his head.

“I’m glad yer back.”

Cole nodded.

“I didn’t have a doubt.”

Lucas sighed uneasily as he leaned back and looked at the young Chicagoan.

“By the looks of you, I gather yer the reason the alarms are ringin’.”

Cole grinned wickedly.

“Left a callin’ card fer Pauling and the Administrator.” he answered. “Oh, and I know where to find Vincent.  Got that out of the mewing squall before I let him have it.”

Lucas shook his head. There would be time to hear about it later.

“C’mon.  Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Cole looked at Lucas seriously.

“Where is Jay?  How is he?”

Lucas sighed uneasily.

“Cole, he was hurt bad. . .”

Cole’s face cleared and became pale.  He shook his head.

“What. . .do you mean?”

Lucas held up his hands to pacify the Scout.

“Doc says that his brain was swelling. . .between all the other things that happened, that was the injury that was most life threatenin’. . .”

“But they fixed him, right!?”

The Sniper put his hands on the older Scout’s shoulders.

“They have him in a coma.” he said softly.  “His body has to rest. . .”

Cole winced painfully.

“But. . .he’s. . .going to be okay!?” he cried softly.  “He’ll. . .come outta it!”

“August and Jason have high hopes, but it is too early to tell, darlin’.” Lucas replied honestly.

He sighed again and held Cole’s arms back as the Scout pounded his fist into his chest vainly.  He expected this kind of behaviour.  He understood it.

“This ain’t goin’ta help him, Cole.” he whispered. “You gotta be strong for him. You hear me? He’s goin’ta be lookin’ to you for help when he wakes up.”

“Don’t you mean _if_.” Cole said hatefully.

“You did all you could.” Lucas said firmly. “Now you gotta let the docs do what _they_ can.”

Cole paused for a moment before nodding once.

“Now c’mon.” Lucas said pulling Cole forward. “Yer birthday suit is getting ruined.”

This made the Scout smirk but he didn’t say anything.  Instead, he followed the Sniper back into the Base.  Before the door closed behind them, he glared at the BLU Base at Well in the distance.

Justifiable Homicide in the Name of Revenge.

They got what they deserved.

 


	11. Dreaming of You

**Dreaming of You**

 

The air was warm and comforting.  It smelled of fresh rain and lemons.  There was a sweet smell that was wafting in the breeze.  Everything felt like a safe pair of arms.

It felt familiar.

Jay Merquise-Jallette slowly opened his eyes.  His body felt lighter.  It didn’t feel like it had been broken and beaten.  He carefully pushed himself up and stared.

Sunlight fell through bright patches of sky.  Meadow grass went on for as far as the eye could see.  Several people moved around him and ventured forward.  They were wearing strange clothes he didn’t recognise.

The Scout looked down at himself.  He gasped when he noted the white tunic and pants.  His hand pressed against the fabric, confused.

Where was he? 

Jay carefully rose to his feet and looked around.  There were others that were like him.  There were older people, younger people and even children.  Everyone was either moving or waking up like he had.  They all seemed to be moving toward a large hill in the distance.

“What. . .is going on?”

His hand pressed against his lips.  His voice sounded like an echo.  It felt like a memory against his ears.  It was as if it were coming from another place entirely.

“Are you finally awake, darl?  You took a bit of time to recover.”

Jay whirled around, startled.

He knew that voice. He knew it like he knew the Bible backward and forward.  His eyes filled with bright sparkles. They vanished into the air as a tall, thin man with blonde hair stared back at him.  Green eyes twinkled in the sunlight as the man smiled with gleaming, white teeth.

“Vince. . .”

The taller man laughed and wrapped his arms around the Scout that barreled into his chest. He whispered sweet nothings into the brown hair and pressed kisses to the side of the youth’s face. He smiled again as Jay stood back.

“Vincent!” the younger man choked painfully. “Vincent! I am so sorry! I am so sorry I couldn’t save you! I’m sorry!”

Vincent Gabriel shook his head sympathetically and tried to brush the glittering tears away from Jay’s face.  He carefully put his long, slender fingers against the Scout’s cheeks and sighed.

“Oh, darling, it wasn’t anything you could _stop_.” he said softly. “I had been a prisoner for over two years.  I was ready to die before they brought _you_.  But when I saw how young you were, to what lengths that wretched Sniper would go, I wasn’t going to die without a fight.”

Jay sobbed and clutched Vincent’s shirt in his fingers.

“He killed you!” he cried. “HE KILLED YOU!”

“I know, baby. I know.”

Vincent held Jay tightly to calm the sobs.  He felt the youth tremble and spoke softly to him.

“Jay, sweetheart, you have to calm down.  This isn’t good for you.”

“I’m _dead_!” Jay cried. “What does anything matter anymore!?”

The Scout started when a rumble of thunder echoed in the clear sky.

Vincent smiled and looked at Jay curiously.

“Who said you were dead?”

Jay was confused.

Vincent laughed softly and tugged on Jay’s arms.

“Walk with me, darling.  I’ll explain.”

Jay obliged. He was so happy to see the Spy again.  His heart felt so full it would burst.  He wasn’t in pain and his lover was here with him.  He didn’t care _where_ he was.  All that mattered was that Vincent was here.

Vincent led Jay to a spot under a large oak tree.  The grass was shorter and there was a small group of people in the clearing.  They raised their hands in greeting.  One woman lowered a tambourine with ribbons hanging from it.

“Vincent!  What a dashing, young man you have on your arm!”

Her voice twittered like a bird.

Vincent grinned.

“I’m afraid he’s taken.” he replied pulling Jay against his chest.

The woman laughed.

“Of course he is.” she commented. “All of the good souls are.”

She returned to her group and began singing and dancing with several others. 

Jay followed the Spy to a more secluded spot in the shade.  He stared at Vincent in wonder.  He looked so much healthier.  He looked so much better.  This is what he must have looked like before they’d done such horrible things to him.

“Sit with me, Jay.”

The Scout smiled and let Vincent pull him closer.  He sat between the Spy’s legs so that he could be close against him.  Vincent wrapped his arms around his shoulders and held him.

“I’m happy to see you, Vince!” Jay whispered, holding the Spy’s hands tightly. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I know you have.” Vincent said softly.  “I have heard you.”

Jay looked up from where he was lying against the Spy’s chest.

“You _heard_ me?”

Vincent nodded.

“This place is neither Heaven nor Hell.” he answered. “It is some sort of in between world.  Those of us that do not cross over remain here.  Though we can cross over any time we choose.”

Jay looked confused for a moment before looking up at his lover.

“Why wouldn’t. . .you. . .”

He gasped.

Vincent nodded again.

“I was waiting for _you_ , darling.” he affirmed.  “I didn’t know what would happen after I died. I was terrified for you.  I was in a terrible panic.  Ask anyone who’s been here awhile. They will tell you I was near inconsolable.”

Jay winced.

“Because of me?”

“Yes, darling!” Vincent whispered almost fiercely. “I love you!  I love you more than life itself! That. . . _Sniper_. . .I knew what he was capable of, Jay. I didn’t want him to hurt you. I didn’t want _any_ of them to hurt you, but _especially_ not him.

“When I rejected him that fateful night, he swore he’d make me pay for it, even in death.  By the time I started to fall ill, I knew there was truth in his words.  I struggled so hard to pull through, Jay. I did.”

Vincent looked down at Jay sadly.

“I knew you were there.” he said softly. “I never forgot you were there. . .and when they attacked you for begging for my health, I prayed.  I prayed so hard for a miracle.  I prayed you would not fall victim to the same man I had.  To the same man several others had fallen.

“I’ve never been a spiritual man, but I prayed to any god that would listen.  I begged them to take me and get you out of there.  I would trade my life for yours.  No one should go through what we went through. No one.  But, especially not someone as sweet and innocent as _you_ , Jay.”

The Spy held the Scout tighter as Jay turned in his embrace and threw his arms around him.  His eyes were narrow as he buried his lips in Jay’s hair.  A few tears slid down his face as he shook his head and leaned the Scout back.

“You aren’t dead, Jay.” he whispered. “You aren’t, and I don’t _want_ you to die.”

Jay looked at Vincent like he was crazy.

“What!?” he asked painfully. “I have begged for them to kill me each and every day! I have begged for _mercy_ after they let you die!  Why in the fucking hell would I go back!? WHY!?”

The Scout stared at the Spy until the taller man looked past him.  Jay turned and followed his lover’s gaze to the shade of several nearby trees.  His breath caught in his throat and his chest started to ache.  His blue green eyes refocused as the shadow of another Scout with indigo eyes stared back at him morosely.

“You tell me, darling.” Vincent whispered against Jay’s ear.  “Why would you go back?”

Jay reached out and felt a sob get lost in his throat as the vision vanished.  He painfully closed his eyes and clutched Vincent’s hands.

“Why would you do this!?” he breathed hatefully. “Why would you make me _choose_!?”

Vincent smiled sympathetically.

“Life is about making choices, Jay.” he said truthfully. “Sometimes they are easy, and sometimes they are harder than hell.  You haven’t had a lot of easy choices to make.  For that, I am sorry. But your life shouldn’t end here. It doesn’t end with me or that cell.  It belongs with him.”

“No.” Jay said shaking his head. “I belong with _you_!  You were _taken_ from me!”

Vincent gently turned Jay’s face to him and pressed his hands against the Scout’s cheeks.

“Baby, I know that.  You will always _have_ me.  I’ll wait for you forever.  We’ll walk up to that hill together someday, I promise. When you get here, I’ll be waiting.  But, he needs you. He needs your love and your kind heart.  He needs you more than you know!”

“Cole _has_ a lover.” Jay muttered. “He doesn’t need me.”

Vincent clicked his tongue.

“I’m disappointed in you, darling.” he admonished. “His heart knows pain and scars.  I believe he explained most of that to you.  What he _didn’t_ tell you was that the Archbishop wasn’t just a “friend” after that incident.”

Jay raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

Vincent nodded.

“The Archbishop was Michael Justine-Francis.” he said with a smile. “Cole didn’t spend his time in the hospital until _after_ Michael died.  It was _because_ of his death that his mind fell apart.”

“I don’t understand.” Jay whispered.

“Michael _adopted_ Cole, Jay.” Vincent answered. “Justine was his mortal name and so he gave it to Cole after that fateful Christmas Eve!  Michael did die a year later, Jay; but it wasn’t before leaving everything he had to his adopted son, Cole Nathaniel Merquise-Justine.”

Jay was stunned.  Tears drifted away from his eyes on an invisible breeze.  He shook his head and winced.

“The last letter was his Will and Testament.” he breathed.

Vincent nodded again.

“Yes.  And Cole claimed his inheritance before coming to the Badlands.  He would have left again after beating the living tar out of your father, but something changed his mind.”

“What?”

“ _You_.”

Jay was startled.

“But. . .he. . .didn’t even _know_ about me then.”

Vincent smiled.

“Your father spouted off some nonsense in French about how you and Cole were unwanted bastards and that if he’d known what headaches you’d have been he would have sworn off fucking around with women.”

 


	12. Same Love

**Same Love**

 

Jay sat dumbfounded for a few minutes.  After he had let everything sink in he looked up at Vincent again.

“Cole. . .stayed in the Badlands. . .because he _heard_ I existed?”

Vincent nodded.

“True.” he answered. “When he found out that Helen wanted to recruit him in case Jacques needed a reminder why there were rules, Cole asked about you.  Helen agreed to give Cole to BLU and allow him to shadow you.  When you two worked together, she never had a problem with him.

“After you disappeared of the Roster, Cole went on a rampage.”

The Spy looked out in the distance with a small frown.

“He destroyed Turbine and uncovered the Comfort Cell there, first.” he said softly. “He found Nero there.”

Jay’s hand flew to his mouth.  His eyes filled with tears as he shook his head.

“No!”

Vincent looked at his lover sadly.

“Nero did not suffer long, love.” he breathed. “Cole found him and got him out.  Cole eliminated half the team before Lucas and Jason were able to stop him. It was abominable what they did to him.  I understand why he has so much anger.

“But brute strength and violence is no way to live your life or repay those for saving yours.  Cole has a strong sense of justice and morality.  He is a champion of the weak and helpless.  His strength and power covers up a greater fear and weakness.  He is hurting, Jay.  His heart is bleeding and Lucas Riley is not enough to stop the flow.

“Lucas has his own anger and scars.  He can rein in Cole’s wild temper, but he has a hard time admitting his own flaws.  Makes it tough for a bushman to let his guard down and be sympathetic to a bleeding heart.”

Jay painfully winced.

It was true, then.

Cole had been the one to force Nero to act on what he’d seen and become.  Cole figured that what happened to him had happened to other Scouts.  Had happened. . .to his brother. . .

“He came.” Jay whispered aloud.  “To our cell. . .and he. . .he knew all about me.  I felt horrible that I never knew.  He was so scared to tell me he was my older brother.  But, it made sense after a minute.  It didn’t change how I felt safe around him.  He made me feel. . .”

The Scout looked up at the Spy.

“. . .he made me feel like you do.”

Vincent smiled and brushed Jay’s hair out of his eyes.

“And that’s okay.” he said gently.  “I am glad that you feel something other than pain, rage and hatred.  Cole needs a loving heart, not more violence.”

“I don’t want to leave you again!” Jay begged wrapping his fingers around Vincent’s shirt. “You are my lover.”

Vincent tilted Jay’s chin up.

“And I will _always_ be your lover.” he mused. “But there is no harm in having more than one in a lifetime, Jay.  He needs you.  And you made a promise.”

Jay smiled faintly.

“Heard that?”

“I never left your side after I died.” Vincent answered back. “You may not have seen me, felt me or heard me, but I have been with you.”

He held Jay close as the Scout buried his face in his chest.  He smiled.

“I love you so much, darling.” he breathed.

“And you’ll wait for me!?”

Vincent nodded.

“Always, love.”

Jay leaned back and nodded.

“I understand.” he said aloud. “I do.”

Vincent smiled at him.

“It is so good to see you smile, love.” he said touching the Scout’s cheek. “I am glad that you are choosing to make this decision.”

Jay winced.

“Cole. . .when. . .when I first woke up from the concussion. . .I didn’t recognise him.  His face.  It was twisted up in this horrible grimace of pain!  He made this gagging noise. . .like he was trying to choke back a sob. . .and he was crying!”

“He’s only cried one other time.” Vincent commented. “When his father died.”

Jay stared.

“Cole Justine has no remorse for taking human life when necessary.” the Spy said carefully. “His fuel is rage.  It is easier.  But with you, Jay, he cherishes you.  He _wants_ to be gentle with you.  He wants to give you his heart because he knows you will be careful with it.

“You won’t break it.”

“It is such a heavy responsibility!” Jay whispered. “To trust someone like that!”

He stopped and thought about the words he’d uttered.

Vincent looked at him humourously.

“Indeed.” he remarked.

Jay pressed his fingers to his lips before shaking his head and looking at Vincent.

“Is he all right!?” he asked suddenly.  “Can you see him?”

Vincent nodded.

“Cole is fine.” he answered. “A little sore from swinging that bat around, but other than that, Lucas has him calmed down.”

“Bat?”

Jay stopped, terrified.

Vincent nodded again.

“Your instincts were always more like a Spy’s than a Scout’s, love.” he said. “You passed that Sniper after Cole sent you away.  Excellent rendition of a Chicago native, darling. You spoke like a true, dirty street urchin.”

Jay blushed scarlet and remained silent.

“The Sniper got suspicious and hurried back to the cell.” Vincent continued. “Cole was anticipating he would show up and try to finish what he started.  I had always worried that the Sniper would try to kill you.  I was afraid he’d do it while I was alive, but I told him I would kill myself before willingly giving myself to him.”

Vincent smiled faintly.

“I’d die for you rather than let you die for me.”

 


	13. Right Here Waiting for You

**I’ll Be Right Here Waiting**

 

He held the Scout tightly in his arms.  He finally felt at peace.  For seven months his soul had restlessly toiled from the Plane of the Living to the Summerlands.  It was hard, but it was worth it to be close to the one he loved.   He had worried about the Sniper.  He knew the Australian was as crazy as he was relentless.

“Shh, love.” the Spy soothed. “It’s all right.  He won’t be hurting anyone ever again.”

Jay looked up again.

“What do you mean?”

“Cole is temperamental.” Vincent ventured.  “When something he cares for is threatened, he reverts back to the one thing he didn’t have when he was injured – rage. 

“In a cold, hard calculated fury, Cole Justine dispatched with the BLU Sniper and the entirety of the team at Well save for the BLU Spy and Pyro.  They were the only two that never partook of the Comfort Class. . .so he let them live.  He left the Sniper as the calling card.  It’s made quite the buzz in the Badlands.”

Jay paled.

“He killed them all?”

“I should like to say so.” Vincent said briskly. “Left the Sniper with his own kukri jammed up his hindquarters.”

Jay shuddered.

“His anger was directed at those that hurt you.” Vincent said softly. “It doesn’t justify what he did, but the world is better off without them.”

“So much blood on his hands!” Jay whispered. “For me?”

“For you, for me, for Memphis, Torrance, Nero, Lucas. . .for all of those who died before us. . . for himself, Jay.”  Vincent answered. “That Scout single handedly brought down a secret organisation that was _killing_ behind the scenes.

“When the news breaks about Well, there will be a full investigation.  Cole made sure to leave no stone unturned.  They will get a chance to question him before he disappears off the grid.”

Jay looked frightened.

“Off the grid. What are you talking about!?”

Vincent held up his palm to calm him.

“Cole will refuse to let you return to the Badlands.  No one will tell Helen you survived. Given Cole’s state and what he’s done to the BLU team, his disappearance will be considered a suicide or a good omen.  They will think he went crazy.  But the proof will remain.

“My best guess is that Helen will be disgusted with the teams hosting these “cells” and do away with the ones that Cole _hasn’t_ killed.  Any surviving Comfort will be rehabilitated and released. August and Jason will document all of your injuries and Cole will attest to you confessing the BLU Sniper at Well was the guiltiest of them all.”

Jay was silent.  After a few minutes he shook his head.

“How will they catch the other teams?  Surely they will have heard about Well from the RED Team or the BLU Pyro or Spy.”

“Knowing Helen, she will shut the trap quickly.” Vincent offered. “While she doesn’t appear to be the most caring woman in the world, Helen MacManus does manage to maintain a decent shred of human dignity.”

“She’ll ambush them?”

“At night.” Vincent added.  “That way there is no time to prepare.  If anyone kills an existing Comfort, they will be charged with manslaughter.  That’s always been the rule for killing one’s fellow teammate.  There may not be a reason for the war, but there’s a reason for the mistress’ madness.”

Jay stared out at the group of people singing and playing music.  He watched the woman with the tambourine before looking up at Vincent again.

“Do a lot of people stay?”

Vincent smiled and looked out into the field.

“Some are frightened.” he admitted. “Some are unsure or scared and stuck in between worlds like you!  For others, they refuse to accept that they have died or choose to wait behind.  Then, there are those like Maggie.”

“Maggie?”

“The woman with the tambourine.” Vincent answered.  “She’s one of _His_ workers.”

Jay looked over at the laughing, blonde haired woman.  His eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

“She’s like an angel?” he whispered.

“You could call her that.” Vincent said softly. “She won’t confirm or deny it, but several people have called her that.”

“Why is she here?” Jay asked.

He watched, fascinated, as Maggie leaned forward and kissed a beautiful red head with freckles. It wasn’t the “oh, it’s so great to see you!” kind of kiss either.

“That is Piper.” Vincent said amused by the look of wonder on Jay’s face. “Piper met Maggie several years ago on this plane.  Maggie helped those who couldn’t make the journey themselves.  When Piper showed up, she couldn’t get the red head to relent.  So, she let Piper tag along.  Soon after that, they were natural born lovers.”

Jay smiled sweetly and put his arms around his knees.  He set his cheek on top of them and nodded.

“I know what it’s like to be in love with a guardian angel.”

He let Vincent pull him back into his embrace.  The younger man enjoyed the soft feeling of lips against his.  Everything about Vincent was pure energy.  Even in life the Spy had been glowing.  Despite everything they had done to him, he never stopped shining.

Jay panted softly as he and Vincent parted.  He felt warm, slender fingers sliding up his sides under his shirt.  He’d forgotten how good Vincent’s hands felt.  He leaned into the touch and whispered words into his partner’s shoulder.

“Let me have you one more time, love.”

His voice was so soft.  It ached with need.

The Scout looked up at the Spy with glittering irises. Sunlight played through his hair as Vincent’s hands held him captive.  He smiled faintly.

“Right here?”

“No one will judge us.” Vincent answered.  “Please. . .it may be a long time before I have the chance again.”

Jay laughed and put his hands in his lover’s hair.

“I wouldn’t dream of denying you.” he said finally. “I’ve missed you every day, Vince.  I’ve missed your arms, your smell and your warmth.  After you died, there was nothing left.  I didn’t care anymore. . .until Cole found our cell.”

He smiled as Vincent set him on his back against the grass.  It was cool against his skin but he didn’t feel cold.  He stared up at the Spy as long, wavy blonde locks fell into the taller man’s face.

“About that, darling.” Vincent murmured.  “How _did_ he find that cell?”

Jay smirked.

“Demo left the door unlocked and open.” he answered. “Cole tailed the Demoman around.”

Vincent laughed softly and shook his head.

“He is smart, I will give him that.” he relented. “He just needs someone sweet and caring like you in his life.”

Jay whimpered when Vincent trailed his lips over his cheek and down his jaw.  He wrapped his arms around the Spy’s neck and arched into him.  He relished the soft touches and the gentle pressure against his skin.

He missed everything about this man.  He probably always would miss him.  Even if he loved Cole with all of his heart, he still loved Vincent first.  Given that Cole had Lucas, Jay figured this was something Cole expected. 

As Vincent pushed the Scout’s shirt higher exposing firm abdominal muscles, Jay smiled.  He ran his hands through the Spy’s hair while Vincent pressed his lips into his stomach.

He hoped that Cole stayed with Lucas, too.  Just because Cole loved them both didn’t make any of them bad people.  He was sure it wasn’t what his grandmother or mother expected of him.  Then again, who expects to go into life thinking you would have love at all?

Jay closed his eyes and let his body move with Vincent’s hands.  He felt the fabric being pulled away from his skin as his body fell against the soft ground.  The Spy’s clothes followed quickly. Flesh against flesh made them both dizzy.  The Scout held on to his lover to keep himself from falling away completely.

In the moment before they got lost in one another, the young Bostonian had a sudden thought.

It was of a memory.  His grandmother had been ill before she died.  Shortly before her death she had asked him to come sit with her.  In her stern, proper voice she told him to keep to the straight and narrow path.  She explained that duty to God and duty to family came first.  After that, he remembered her eyes got far away and she looked sad.

She clasped his hand in hers and made him promise to find whatever made him happy.  That whether he found it in God or in a family of his own or something less savoury than her feeble imagination could come up with, the youngest of the family should get what he wanted before sacrificing everything.

Jay was sure he knew what she had meant now.

“You are so beautiful, love.” Vincent whispered.  “Don’t forget.  Please don’t forget.”

Jay shook his head and pulled Vincent’s head back so that he could see the Spy’s green, cat-like eyes.

“I will _never_ forget.”

Vincent smiled and held his lover closer.  He leaned into Jay’s palm affectionately.

“You may someday.” he said gently. “But try not to, darling.  I will always remember _you_.”

“I can’t forget the first love I ever had.” Jay mused. “Even when I am old and broken like you!”

The Scout laughed when the Spy playfully nipped his neck.  He kept the warm body pressed against his.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.  Please.  Don’t leave me hangin’.”

It never hurt when Vince made love to him.  No matter what had happened to them hours or minutes before, they’d always found ways to comfort one another.  Neither one had caused the other pain.  Even now, it was rapture over chaos.

Skin slid over skin as body heat spread through them. Jay whispered against Vincent’s ear as the Spy hit a sensitive spot. 

“Don’t stop.  Make sure I remember.  Always remember.”

Vincent passionately kissed his lover and pressed his body closer to Jay’s.  He indulged in the sweetness that followed this kid around.  He _would_ remember him.  He’d already made it clear that he was not going to leave until Jay was with him.

He trembled.

He’d love him forever.

Jay arched his neck and dug his fingertips into Vincent’s back as his lover released.  The friction from their bodies sent him over the edge not long after.  His eyes narrowed as he felt Vincent’s breath against his neck.

He would miss this.

“You won’t hate me for loving Cole will you, Vince?”

His voice was soft and unsure.

Vincent paused for a moment before leaning back and smiling.

“No, love.” he whispered. “Not at all.”

Jay winced.

“I don’t want to leave Cole alone.” he breathed. “When. . .or if. . .something happens to me, he might be alone!”

Vincent was silent for a long time.  He could feel Maggie’s gaze on him from beyond the grass. It was taboo to speak of the future.  It wasn’t because it was the future, but because the future wasn’t finite.  It could always be changed. The Maker had a good fail safe with that mechanism. Free will was hard to smother.

“He won’t be alone, darling.” he said finally. “He won’t live long after you pass.”

Jay smiled and let tears fill his eyes.  This comforted him.  Even if everything had to end, he was grateful it didn’t have to end in misery.

“His hands. . .are so bloody. . .”

Vincent shook his head.

“Judgment here is a little bit fairer than where we’re from.” he advised. “Cole’s actions will be judged solely upon the actions that proceeded them.”

Jay nodded.

“He won’t do it again.” he said softly. “I won’t let him kill another human again.”

“Wise decision.” Vincent echoed. “But he won’t argue that. “

Jay smiled again when the Spy kissed his lips.

“He’ll be distracted with other things.” Vincent breathed. “More beautiful, worthwhile things.”

“You. . .will still want me?”

“I will _always_ want you.” Vincent corrected.  “I will wait, like I promised, right here.  I will wait until the end of time if I must.  And my feelings will not have changed.  I promise.”

The Spy enjoyed the Scout’s kiss.  He didn’t believe in hope or love before Jay.  Being a prisoner of another man’s lust was terrible.  It was made more so by that man’s violence and anger.  He’d done everything to keep the BLU Team from hurting this young man beneath him. He didn’t want another young soul to lose its light because misfortune had found him.

He prayed that Cole Justine and Lucas Riley treated his lover the way he deserved to be treated.

He prayed Jay had nothing but love and happiness from this moment forward.

“Jay, will you promise me something else?”

Jay felt something tugging at him as he smiled sleepily up at his lover.

“I’ll promise you anything.” he murmured.

“Then promise me to love Cole with all of your heart.” Vincent said removing something from around his neck.  “Promise me you will love him with all of the kindness and softness that you have with me.  Will you promise me this?”

Jay felt his body getting heavy as the Spy pressed something into one of his hands.  Vincent folded his fingers into a fist so that they both were holding the object tightly.  The Scout struggled to keep the Spy in focus.

“Vince. . .”

“Promise me, please, love.” Vincent pleaded.  “We are running out of time together.  I want to hear you promise me.  Give Cole all of your love and be honest and fair.  Know that I will never leave and never abandon you.  When you are frightened or alone, you may always call for me and I promise to be there.  I swear to you, Jay.

“Promise me to be there for Cole.  Lean on him for strength and courage and above all – love.”

Jay felt Vincent’s tears hit his face as he struggled to bring his other hand up to the Spy’s face. He winced when his fingers drifted through the body above him.

“Vincent. . .”

“Promise me, darling. Promise me!”

“I promise!”

Vincent held Jay tightly as the Scout willed his body up and wrapped his arms around the Spy. He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head.

Jay trembled as tears started to slide from his eyes.

“I promise.” he whispered. “I promise to love Cole with everything I have. I will love him with a full, unbiased heart.  I promise you, Vince. I _promise_.”

“Then, it will be all right.”

Vincent leaned back as Jay began to turn into a shadow in front of him.  He struggled to hold onto the youth a little longer.

“I love you, Jay.” he said with a small smile. “I loved you then, I love you now and I will always love you.  Never forget that.”

“I love you, too, Vince.  Just like that.”

Vincent painfully closed his eyes as he felt Jay’s lips press against his before disappearing.  When he had composed himself long enough to keep tears from sliding down his face, the Spy opened his eyes and found the Scout gone.

He sat silently for a few moments as the wind rustled the leaves above him.  He quietly gathered his clothes and dressed.  As his head reappeared through his shirt, a hand gently pressed into his shoulder.

Vincent looked up as Maggie stared down at him.

He smiled a little.

“Maggie.”

“Vincent.”

The older woman smiled thoughtfully.

“I have never seen someone fight Their will so intently.  You certainly do have an amazing strength about you, Vincent.”

“Because of him.”

The Spy smiled warmly and looked up at her.

“It’s only because of him.”

“Come.  Come sit with us.” Maggie said tugging gently.  “Do not spend the eternity alone.”

Vincent allowed himself to be picked up to his feet.  He was at ease now.  He’d given Jay all he needed.  For now, it was out of his hands.  He knew he could trust his lover into the care of others.

“For now.” he mused. “For now.”

He followed Maggie back toward her group of people as the sun disappeared under the horizon.

 

 


	14. So Scared of Waking

**So Scared of Waking**

_“Jesus, Cole, you look like death!  Didn’t you do as August told you?”_

_“No.”_

_“Why?”_

_“I’m not leavin’ until Jay wakes up.”_

_“Cole, we took him off of the medication a week ago. . .”_

_“So!? Are you saying you are giving up on him?”_

_“Easy, darlin’. Don’t be gettin’ the doc in a tizzy.  Unless you want to be maimed.”_

_“I’m not scared of chopstick.”_

_“You haven’t seen him with a blade.”_

_“Flattering, Luke. In any case, Cole, you will not do Jay any good by running yourself into the ground.  You’ve been here day and night for the past three weeks. You need to rest.”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“I’ll make him sleep, doc. Don’ worry so much about him.  He’ll be fine.”_

_“It’s my job to worry about you all.”_

_“Then take your worry about me and focus it on my brother!”_

_“Manners.”_

_“Please. . .help him, Jason. Please.”_

_“I haven’t given up, Cole. I promise. None of us have.”_

 

……………………………….

 

Beeping echoed across the room as late afternoon sunshine filtered through the blinds.  The warm rays fell over machines and IV Stands connected to a frail, thin body under several blankets.  Long, soft hair fell into fluttering eyes as fingers moved against the sheets.  The respirator pushed another breath while blue green eyes opened.

Jay Jallette stared up at the white tiled ceiling with a hint of confusion.  His mouth was horribly dry and tasted like plastic.  For a second he didn’t remember where he was.  His body tightened out of reflex causing one of the machines to change tempo.

The Scout looked to his left and saw all of the tubes and wires connected to various parts of his body.  He trembled as he recognised the heart monitor and defibrillator beside him. This was all standard hospital equipment. 

He wasn’t in the Comfort Cell anymore.

Jay watched another breath go into his lungs. He winced and tried to remember what was going on.  Everything was fuzzy.  He remembered Cole and the Sniper. . .and Jason. . .

The Scout felt his heart skip.

Vincent.

Jay tried to move.  His body refused to listen to his commands.  He moved his eyes in vain hoping that something useful would come into view.

He stopped when a reassuring whisper ran across his ear.  He listened for a moment before turning his head to the side.  He blinked against the sunlight and let his eyes readjust.

A smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

Cole Justine whispered in his sleep.  He moved fretfully in a chair beside his brother.  His head was on the mattress as close as he could get without being in the way.  His hair hung in his face and against the side of his head.  His windbreaker was partially unzipped and his hands were free of his wraps.

In his left hand was a very ornate Rosary.

Jay wished he could touch him.

The Scout felt the palm of his right hand heat up.  He looked to his hand and focused on it.  His fingers lifted a thin, gold chain with an intricate, Celtic charm on it.

Where had this come from?

 _I will be waiting for you. Always_.

The whispering brushed across his cheek and ear before disappearing.

Jay’s eyes filled with tears.  He clutched the charm in his hand and smiled.

He promised. He had made a promise.

The runner kept hold of the charm in his hand while focusing on the other hand.  He frowned as he forced the left digits to rise.  He carefully touched Cole’s forehead.  He smiled again when the older Scout frowned.

You wouldn’t think the young man a killer when he was asleep.

Finally, after a few more touches, Cole moaned and lifted his head from the mattress.  His face was paler and his eyes had a dark, haunted appearance.  Sleep hung heavy around him as he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm.

He was getting pretty tired of the Medics waking him up and making him repeat the same thing over and over again.

Cole opened his eyes and looked at his brother.  His breath caught in his throat.  He watched the blue green eyes staring at him almost comically. He rose to his feet.

“Jay!?”

Jay let another smile crack his lips when Cole leaned over and attempted to hug him.  He wished he could laugh or speak.  He settled for putting his hands against Cole’s arms.

Cole leaned back, tears in his eyes.  He shook his head and pressed his hands against Jay’s cheeks.

“Don’t you ever go away again!” he breathed. “Don’t you dare leave me!”

Jay nodded.

Cole smiled.

“It’s so good to see ya fuckin’ lookin’ at me!” he said gently. “I thought you’d never wake up.  I thought you were gone.”

Jay shook his head.

“I. . .I gotta go get August and Jason.” Cole said quickly.  “They wanted to know if there was any change in your condition.  I’d say there has been a big change.”

Jay closed his eyes while Cole kissed his forehead.

His body was warm like Vincent’s.

“Don’t go fallin’ asleep on me!” Cole warned.  “I’ll be right back.”

Jay focused on the ceiling when Cole had gone to the door and took off.  The Scout raised an eyebrow when he noticed all of the drawings and cards and words of encouragement that were pasted above him.

_Was this all for me?  Was it because Cole wanted this to be the first thing I saw?_

The Scout studied the collection.  The drawings were well done. There was a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that had been a favourite of his grandmother’s.

_“The Future Belongs to Those Who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dreams.”_

He had never understood why his grandmother liked that quote so much.  She hadn’t been unfortunate in her life.  Then again, there was a lot he hadn’t known about her, too.  Maybe she’d had dreams once that she didn’t get to live out.  Maybe she lived vicariously through him.  In the end, she didn’t want him to end up as she had.

Jay admired his grandmother for that quality.

That and for teaching him how to play piano.

Jay diverted his attention when the door to his room came flying open.  He smiled again when an entourage of Medics, Snipers and Spies entered his room.  He waited until Cole had come back to his side before looking at anyone else.

“Ah!  So Cole wasn’t lying!” Jason said as he came up to the side of the bed with the machines on it. “He hasn’t been sleeping since you were injured so we thought he’d finally snapped the tether.”

Cole shot the Medic a dirty look.

Jay shrugged a shoulder.

“Vitals look very good for somevone zhat’s just gotten out of a coma.” August commented lightly. “Very good.”

“Does that mean you’ll take the tubes outta his throat?” Cole asked irritably.

“In due time.” August replied.  “Ve vant to make sure he’s able to breazthe and function on his own.”

Jay felt offended.

He was sure that his lungs would work fine.

“Say, Jay, what do you have in your hand?” Jason asked as he noted the long, gold chain.

Jay flicked his eyes to the charm before opening his palm and displaying the gold and emerald enamel piece.  He watched Cole’s reaction while the Medic lifted an eyebrow.

“Did you have this before?” Jason asked.

Jay shook his head.

“Cole?”

“I don’t. . .recognise it.” the older Scout answered reluctantly.

“It was Vincent’s.”

Everyone looked up as Nero spoke up from beside the tall brunette from before.  The BLU Spy stepped closer and adjusted the blue vest that was over his dress shirt.  His steel blue eyes glinted in the light.

“It was a gift from a dear friend in Ireland.” he went on.  “It meant the world to him because it was his lucky charm.  He never took it off.”

Jay was surprised by this information.

While it was true that he hadn’t known the Spy before being a Comfort, Jay figured that Vincent would have at least mentioned such a treasure in passing.  The Scout’s eyes stared down at the intricate working of knots and designs woven into a tree.

If he didn’t have this charm before he died, how was he able to give it to him?

“How did Cole end up with it?” Cole asked aloud.

Nero shook his head.

“I don’t know, _mon petite_.”

Jay closed his fingers around the charm.

It didn’t matter.  Vincent had given it to him.  He would take care of it as the Spy had done.

“The realms of the living and the deceased are planes of which we have little exploration.” Jason said with a small smile. “Perhaps the question may never be answered as to _how_.”

That was fine with Jay.

“Zhe swelling has gone down tremendously.” August said as he finished writing in a chart. “Zhis is progress in zhe right direction.  It is very good he remembers who he is, who we are and has not panicked that he is here.  It means his mind has recovered much of what it lost.  Ve vill begin removing zhe equipment.”

Jason grinned and assisted August.

“Told ya you’d wake up feeling a lot better.” he said down at Jay. 

The younger Scout let a smile play on his lips.

He couldn’t deny the truth.


	15. Bleeding Love

**Bleeding Love**

“What was it like between worlds?”

Jay looked over at Cole as his older brother caught the ball he’d been tossing in the air.  He noted a tension in the question.  It was strange.

“It was like a large, open soccer field.” he answered hoarsely. “With lots of trees.”

Cole smiled faintly.

“Sounds nice.”

“If you like that kinda thing, I guess.” Jay relented.

He looked at Cole.

“Is something wrong?”

Cole shook his head.

“Nope.”

Jay frowned.

“You’re lying.”

The older Scout sighed and stared at the wall for a moment.  His indigo eyes were calculating while his fingers flexed around his baseball.  After a few seconds more, Cole frowned.

“I dunno.” he said finally. “I guess. . .I guess I feel off or something.”

“Off?  About me?” Jay pressed.

Cole nodded.

“You could say that.”

He looked over at Jay and gently took the charm that was hanging around the Scout’s neck in his fingers.  He felt dismayed.  He felt jealous.

“I couldn’t comfort you in your time of need.” he murmured. “You had no idea I was here.”

_Ah. That’s what it is._

Jay’s mind processed Cole’s tone and body language.

“I understand.” he answered. “You’re feeling a bit shafted next to Vince.”

Cole nodded again.

“I guess so.” he affirmed.

Jay smiled and wrapped his fingers around Cole’s.  He shook his head when Cole looked up at him.

“Cole, don’t compare yourself to him.” he rasped. “You cannot compare because you are in a league all of your own!”

Cole scoffed.

“Blood stained and torn.” he replied.

“Maybe, but it is your league.” Jay answered. “I love you for being strong enough to take action. Vincent was a lot like me.  He let people beat him down because he was weak.  Even if he took it in stride, he was always sore about that.”

Cole looked at him thoughtfully. 

“You coulda left.” he mused. “Coulda been free of all this. Why stay?”

Jay smiled.

“Because you needed me.” he answered easily. “I love you.  You love me.  You cried for me.  You haven’t done that since your father died.”

Cole’s eyes denoted their surprise.  Colour drained from his face as Jay coughed and readjusted himself on his pillows.  He winced.

“What. . .are you talking about?”

“You are a bad liar.” Jay whispered. “That Archbishop wasn’t just a friend.  He adopted you. He was your father.  You have his name.”

“How did you know that?”

Jay smiled sweetly when Cole let his façade drop.  It was beautiful when Cole was vulnerable. Since waking up a few days ago, the younger Scout had learned that his older counterpart was good at masking his true feelings unless something close to his heart was involved.

“Being almost dead brings you to the threshold of reality.” he answered. “Vincent told me.”

Cole had listened to Jay speak of being in the world beyond this one.  He had been amazed at all that Jay said he’d seen.  He didn’t know what it meant or if it was real, but it didn’t matter.  Jay had come back.

It had made his heart hurt to hear about the happiness Jay had felt when he’d seen his first lover. He supposed that was bitter, misguided jealousy.  It was foolish to be jealous of a dead man. Even more so when he was jealous of a man that had _encouraged_ Jay to come back here.

If a charm on a necklace was all that had resulted from said encounter he considered himself lucky.

“Yes. Michael adopted me after that.” Cole said aloud. “I lived with him for that year. It was probably the best year of my life.  I don’t think I have loved and respected a man like I did Michael.  When he died, I thought everything in my life would die with him.  I wish it would have.  Being alive hurt so much.

“His last letter was his Will.  He left everything he had to me.  I know that priests tend to take vows of poverty, but Michael wasn’t like that.  He had a sizeable sum that he didn’t want the Church to take.

“He wanted it to go toward a legacy.”

“Would he have approved of you coming. . .here. . .to the Badlands?” Jay asked softly.

Cole shook his head.

“No.” he answered flatly. “Michael abhorred violence in all forms.  I would be a disappointment to him.”

“I don’t think so.” Jay countered. “He loved you.  I assume he assessed that you would build up rage and anger because of what had happened to you.  So, he wanted to love you that much more.  He wanted to show you that even if you are scarred and broken, you aren’t worthless.

“You aren’t beyond love.”

Jay smiled when Cole rose to his feet and kissed his lips.  He relished the feeling as Cole pulled away. He stared up into pools of indigo.

Cole waited a moment before nodding.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

Both Scouts turned as a soft knock sounded on the door.

“Come in.” Cole answered for his brother.

He was surprised when the door opened and Nero stood in the doorway alone.  He lifted an eyebrow curiously.

“Hello Nero.” Jay said politely. “Is work over for today?”

“For me it is, yes.” the Spy answered softly.  “Am I interrupting?”

Jay shook his head.

“No, not at all.”

He smiled.

“Right on time as a matter of fact.”

Cole turned his curiosity to Jay.

“You asked him to come?”

Jay nodded.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you both lied to me.”

Cole seemed hurt.  His eyes reflected this while Nero carefully shut the door and eased himself into the room.  His BLU Industries suit was immaculate.  The jacket was unbuttoned and his balaclava was missing but that was normal for him.  It was common knowledge that Nero DeLaroux _hated_ the Spy Class uniform.

Unlike Cole, the Belgian did not seem dismayed by Jay’s comment.

“Lied to you? Jay, it was only a year.” Cole said lamely.

“It isn’t about that, Cole.” Jay said softly. “It’s about the Comfort Class.”

Cole winced.

“What about it?”

“You told me Nero was the one looking for me.” Jay said with a smile. “That wasn’t true.  When I went missing a few weeks after being re-assigned to Well, you went on a rampage at Turbine.  You found Nero in the Comfort Cell there.  _You_ are the one that convinced _him_ that there must be others.”

Cole didn’t say anything else.

The room was silent save for the steady beeping of the heart monitor beside Jay.  It was oppressing until Nero shifted his body and shook his head.

“They had only just captured me a week prior.” he said carefully. “I would have perished.  Between my poor health and my disgust with myself, I’d have taken my own life.  Cole finding me was either fate or poor circumstance.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have saved the RED Sniper from Turbine’s RED Team.” Jay said quietly. “You survived because you both had been caught.”

It was Nero’s turn to wince.

“Vince was right.” he said softly. “You would have made a better Spy than Scout Class.”

Jay smiled.

“I run better than I process thought.” he answered.

He waited a moment before looking at Cole.

“You were the one that got the idea that what happened to Memphis and Torrance and Vincent probably happened to me.  You tore up the Badlands looking for me.  Don’t bother lying about it anymore, either.  Luke told me.”

“Bastard.” Cole said spitefully. “He swore.”

“I would have figured it out sooner or later.” Jay amended. “Besides, I found out that you wouldn’t have stayed in the Badlands if you hadn’t heard about _me_.”

“That’s true.” Cole admitted. “When that disgusting moo cow told me about you and Cam, I decided to stay.  I agreed to the terms Helen laid out only if I were assigned to BLU and put on _your_ team.  While you were assigned at Turbine, no one had a problem with me.  After that, well, you know obviously.”

“Why didn’t either of you tell me?” Jay asked almost accusingly.  “I lost Vincent because of that class. Who knows how many others were killed before Helen put a stop to it!  Neither one of you thought to come clean about it after the fact? Why?”

“I did not want to concern you with matters that would adversely affect you.” Nero said finally.  “My relationship with Wallace is dangerous not just because he is a RED Sniper but because we are men.  Wallace has put so much strength and effort into this relationship.  To have him suffer more just because he loves me was too much for me to bear.

“To put that stress on someone else would be wrong and cruel.  I care about you, Jay.  Had I been able, I would have stopped it.  I tried.”

“I know.” Jay interrupted. “Cole told me.”

Cole flushed scarlet and frowned.

“I am sorry.” he muttered. “I wouldn’ta kept it from ya. . .but. . .”

Jay waited patiently.

Cole sighed.

“I ain’t always proud of what I do, okay?” he asked painfully. “I am so angry and full of rage! The first thing that comes into my head is usually violence.  I act upon it because it is easier than working it out!  Those fuckers hurt something close to me.  They took something _away_ from me! For that, they had to pay!  Most of them had to pay with their fuckin’ lives.

“It makes me a terrible person!  It makes me unworthy of love or kindness.  It makes me. . . makes me unworthy of. . .of. . .”

“. . .of me?”

Cole looked at Jay as the younger Scout finished his sentence. He felt deflated.

“Yeah.” he answered softly.

He was startled when Jay took his hand and carefully yanked him down to eye level.  He stared, confused when the Bostonian frowned at him.

“Don’t tell me what I consider worthy and what I don’t.” Jay breathed. “You saved my life. That is more than anyone has _ever_ done for me.  It makes you worthy a thousand times over in my book.”

Cole smiled faintly and nodded.

“Okay.”

He enjoyed the passionate kiss from Jay before standing straight again.  He felt more at ease when Jay looked over at Nero.

“I owe you an apology, Nero.”

Nero looked surprised.

“You owe me nothing, _mon petite._ ”

“I do.” Jay said softly.  “I hated you with vehemence. You knew who I was and who my father was and you let him walk all over me.  You let Camden walk all over me.”

The Scout paused as he thought about things for a moment.

“All this time, I hated you. . .and you were the one making sure someone always had my back.”

Nero was silent when Cole and Jay looked at him.  He stared at them before closing his eyes and sighing.

“I begged your mother to turn you over to me.” he said softly.  “I begged her to reconsider sending Cam with Jacques.  I knew the repercussions.  If I had any sense I would have throttled Jacques when I found out about Indigo.  But, I didn’t know about her or Cole until long after the deed was done.

“Helen told me about you, Cole.  There was nothing I could do that you couldn’t do better yourself. I focused my efforts on Jay.  I knew that Camden was a cocky little shit like his father. He has a sense of entitlement that Jackie has carried his whole life.  When Mary Elizabeth died, I tried to intercept Jay a second time.

“Sophie told me you’d already come _here_.”

Jay took a raspy breath.

“You knew my grandmother.”

Nero smiled and nodded.

“She was an amazing woman.” he answered. “She had more strength in her than anyone knew. She would have allowed me to care for you in her absence. As your legal guardian, she had the duty to make sure you were well cared for after she was gone.

“By the time I realised that it was futile, I came to the conclusion that I could do my best at what I do for a living.  I worked with Helen to secure you a spot at a remote base in the Badlands.  Turbine, while treacherous, is hardly ever a threat.  The action there is minimal.  Knowing you took after me I knew that keeping you anywhere else could prove dangerous.

“In the course of your first year, Jacques made the connection that you looked exactly like Camden. When confronted, Sophie broke down.  She babbled on about how you were a late twin and she hadn’t meant for you to happen.”

Nero made a dissatisfied noise in his throat.

“If she would have told him what I told her to tell him, you may have been better off.”

“What _did_ you say to her?” Cole asked despite himself.

“I told her to tell Jacques that the child was mine.”

Jay was surprised.  He looked at his uncle curiously.

“You did?”

Nero nodded.  

“Jacques has always assumed that I was jealous of his abilities. He got the glory and the guts that go with it.  He was our father’s favourite.  My health prevented me from getting the start he had in life.  Therefore, Jackie took over and built upon my father’s empire.”

“But. . .how would takin’ his dame help matters?” Cole asked, confused.  “Wouldn’t that just piss him off more?”

“Of course it would.  He would assume that was the point.” Nero replied. “Sophie wouldn’t be expected to know what to do.  Jacques and I look almost identical save for our eyes. Jackie would be upset, but he would take his aggression out on _me_ , not Sophie or Jay.

“Jacques often forgets that I have an interest in a different kind of fare.”

Jay smiled faintly.

“You’d make a good dad, though.” he said softly. “You care so much that you’d rather lie about me than let me go on knowing I was half a pair.”

Nero nodded again.

“Yes.”

Jay let this soak in before looking at Nero carefully.

“You always treated me well, Nero.” he said aloud. “You never once blamed me for not being able to cap a point or for getting caught while returning the Intel. You were there for me.  You let me pick off _your_ kills on a bad day.  You got my back when I was anywhere other than Turbine. And you make pretty good sweets, too.”

Nero smiled at the Scout.

“You are a good cook yourself.  And I would do it again.  If I could go back, I would have taken you from Mary Elizabeth.  She wouldn’t have stopped me.  Had she known I wouldn’t have brought you here, she may have encouraged it. 

“I owe it to her to care for her grandson.”

“Seems like you gotta lot to worry about.” Cole said softly. “Why don’cha let _me_ worry about Jay?”

“Because you have enough on your plate as it is.” Nero responded. “Someone needs to watch out for the both of you.”

“I wouldn’ worry so much bout that, Nero.  I think I can handle the two of em.”

Nero smiled and turned his head as Lucas Riley looked up from the pocket knife he was using to clean his fingernails.

“Another individual that would have made a better Spy than his class suggests.”

Lucas smiled and shook his head.

“Nah.” he lamented. “Too tall.”

He eased himself out of the open doorway and folded his pocket knife.

“’Sides, I’d look ridiculous in that outfit you wear.”

He looked at Cole and Jay with a nod.

“Doc’s releasin’ Jay tomorrow.” he said aloud. “Rehabilitation starts a week from then.”

Jay nodded slowly.

He understood Jason and August’s worry.  He had been through a traumatic experience at a young age.  His health was fragile.  They had to be certain there would be no long term effects. He supposed that was natural for doctors to think like that.

It was strange having so many people care about him.

“Where’s he gonna go, Luke?” Cole asked softly. “He’s off Roster. . .permanently.”

Jay looked up at Cole.

“Finally?” he whispered.

Cole nodded.

“Helen made it official last night. She has everyone else on lockdown because she thinks I am back at 2Fort.  I guess she is expectin’  me to go crazy.”

“Wouldn’t you have?” Jay asked back.

“Probably.” Cole conceded. “But, you ain’t really dead. . .remember?”

Jay smiled as Cole put his arm around him and kissed the side of his head.

“Which brings me back to my original question of _where_ he’s gonna stay.” Cole said looking at Lucas.  “And don’t say your van, either.  It’s a fuckin’ pigsty.”

“I don’ hear _you_ complaining on a nightly basis.” Lucas said sourly. “It suits me fine!”

Nero chuckled softly.

“Wallace has mentioned your lack of personal hygiene.” he said. “That being noted, I have taken care of arrangements for my nephew and his older brother.”

Jay was surprised.

“You have?”

Nero nodded.

“I have friends and allies in a town called Little Cross.  It is about an hour outside of Teufort.  I have purchased a small house there for the purpose of sending my ailing nephew to recover. It is quiet and clean and will serve as a good starting point to get well and start over.”

Jay winced.

“You. . .didn’t have to do that.”

“ _Oui, mon petite_.” Nero said gently. “I did.  I made a promise to Vincent.”

The Scout looked confused.  He shook his head.

“I. . .I didn’t know Vince. . .until after. . .after. . .”

Cole hugged Jay when the words refused to form.  He held his brother tighter and whispered Latin into his hair.

“You may not have known Vincent, but he knew _you_.”

“He did?”

“ _Oui_.” Nero answered. “You had him smitten from day one.  When he found out you were my nephew that’s all he would want to talk about.  Vincent was shy to the point of being ridiculous. He never had the courage to tell you himself.  When he went missing shortly after you came to the Badlands, I was terrified that his team had found him out.”

The BLU Spy looked down and shook his head.

“It took me two years to realise they had.”

Tears slid down Jay’s face as he held onto Cole’s arms.  He leaned forward and tried to compose himself.

“Vince never had an unkind word to say about you, Nero!” he said desperately. “He was always grateful for your kindness and your friendship!”

“I know he was.” Nero whispered. “That is why I must take care of what he loved most in life. Fortunately for me, we loved the same person.”

Cole smiled as Nero lifted his head and looked at the younger Scout.  He had an infinite amount of respect for the older Spy.  He knew that Nero hadn’t had an easy life either.  Instead of letting the guilt and the inadequacies beat him down, he rose above it.

He held Jay closer before turning his head to Lucas.

“How did you know where to find me?”

The Sniper smiled wryly.

“Wasn’t hard.” he admitted. “I knew you wouldn’t be at base.  They’ve already reported you AWOL.”

“Figures.” Cole muttered. “Don’ matter.  I have bigger things to worry about now.”

“Which is why I took the initiative to take your stuff up to Little Cross.” Lucas supplied easily. “Figured it would make things feel a little more like home.  Plus, Ol Sour Puss let me into Jay’s old room at Well.  The bastards had his things shoved in a foot locker still in the closet.  I brought them all to the house.”

“Th. . .thank you!”

Jay wiped the tears out of his eyes and looked at Lucas and Nero gratefully.

“Thank you.” he repeated.

“You don’t have’ta thank us, kit.” Lucas said gently. “It’s what people do when they care about ya.”

“And luckily for you, you have a strong connection of people who love you.” Nero added. “I am still employed with BLU, but Wallace was written off the system several months ago when he didn’t return from Turbine.  I disclosed his details as a Comfort Class to Miss Pauling and Helen. He will work with Lucas to make sure that the Badlands doesn’t come anywhere near you.

“Jason and August are going to continue therapy in Little Cross. I will continue to work for BLU for a few more months until I go MIA.  After that, I am pretty sure Wallace will be willing to stay in the desert for a few more years.  Perhaps then we can decide what paths to take.”

“I don’t know what else to say.” Jay whispered.

“Nothin’.” Lucas answered. “You’ve said all you need to, kit.”

Jay smiled when Cole hugged him closer.  He wrapped his arms around the older Scout’s waist and closed his eyes.

This is all he wanted out of life.

He had love, friends, family and a place he could call home.  He didn’t have to worry about battles or gathering intelligence.  He could continue to play piano and learn to cook.  He could run for the fun of it again instead of for his life.

A tear slid down his face.

_This is where I belong._


	16. Sixteen Tons

**Sixteen Tons**

 

A sigh echoed across the floor as a spindly, boney hand through another file onto a growing stack of papers, photos and cigarette ash on the desk.  Grey and silver light pooled behind a high, wingback chair while cameras watched various parts of the Badlands.  The screens were silent and still as Helen MacManus lit another cigarette.

“This brings the total dead to over 35.” she said gesturing to the new file. “I always had a feeling Cole Justine would go missing, crazy or both.  I never imagined it would end like _this_.”

Helen’s cold, calculating blue eyes bored into the small, mousey looking woman standing opposite of her.  She inhaled on her cigarette and pushed greying black bangs out of her face.

“Did you tell his father?”

“Er, no, Ma’am.” Michelle Pauling admitted. “It didn’t seem like he was interested.”

“He loses two sons and the bastard pretends the world keeps spinning.” Helen scoffed.

The light fell sharply over angled features and a purple business suit.  The Administrator of the Badlands frowned and stared down at several photos on her desk.  The Comfort Case as she had termed it had become a huge fiasco.  Worse than having the New Mexican Government down her back, she had the Federal Government back on it.

While cruel and commanding by nature, Helen MacManus liked to believe she lived by a set of morals and standards.  She expected her men to be equally crazy and efficient.  When one of the two balances tipped to one side or the other, the mercenaries tended to get out of control.

Not only had she lost some of the best Spies and Scouts she’d ever had, she lost three, entire teams due to the indecency and outcry.

“Have they found Jay Jallette’s body?”

“No, Ma’am.” Miss Pauling whispered. “They have moved toward Dustbowl.”

Helen nodded.

Losing Jay had hurt her worst of all.  Jay had been a skilled runner and had some of the best batting averages of all her Scouts. His older twin wasn’t half the Scout that Jay had been.  It wasn’t just because Jay was better at his job either.

Jay had been young and untarnished by his father’s whoring tendencies.

If he knew about Jacques Merquise he never showed it on the battlefield.

“Vincent Gabriel?”

Miss Pauling looked at the clipboard in her hand.

“Cole and Nero recovered the body in a shallow grave near the Midway.” she answered. “It was in a pinewood coffin.  Per the wishes of said mercenary, Nero DeLaroux took possession of the body and had the Spy cremated.  The ashes have been returned to said Spy’s family.”

“Very good.” Helen answered.

She stared at pictures of three other Scouts and two Spies.

“What of them?”

“Trent and Zach are recovering under the direct care of Willem von Dette at 2Fort.” Miss Pauling said quickly. “Their injuries were not as severe as those reported by August von Dette. They are receiving care for trauma and emotional distress.

“Xavier is progressing through trauma and emotional therapy at a surprising rate.  He seems to understand more of what happened.  Joseph Hastings reports that he is having trouble with nightmares, but otherwise his health has improved.”

“Those are my Scouts, correct?” Helen asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. What about my Spies?”

“Jean is being monitored by Jason D’Augustine.  There has been another suicide attempt.  He has managed to cut himself pretty deep.  Jason is enlisting the help of Antonio Muir out of Gold Rush to try and rehabilitate him.  Dr. D’Augustine believes that Jean may need to be sent to a behavioural hospital if this round fails.

“Pallas still has not spoken since his rescue.   His body is still rejecting therapy for a disease unrelated to the Comfort Class.  However, his reduced stamina and will has affected that therapy. He is still under the direct care of August von Dette.”

“Get both of my von Dette’s on the Spies.” Helen said firmly. “Relieve D’Augustine of the responsibility.  Jean is sporadic and violent without the emotional stress.  Given his state I am sure he is due for a meltdown.  Put Willem in charge of Jean’s care.  If he and August can handle it, then we must transfer him to Roswell.”

“Duly noted, Ma’am.” Miss Pauling replied writing on her clipboard.  “Do you want the Spies transferred to a specific location?”

“Yes. Move them to Teufort.” Helen answered. “The hospital there is contracted to work with my employees when asked.  I will increase the funding for that new Trauma Unit they keep trying to build.”

Miss Pauling made this note and waited a moment.

“The Scouts?”

“Put D’Augustine in charge of care.” Helen said after a moment’s thought. “If they are able to be moved and can tolerate the change in staff, bring them to Gravel Pit.  If they are unable to move for fear of disrupting treatment, tell D’Augustine he will be on Rotation.”

“D’Augustine does not perform as well without Christov.” Miss Pauling said carefully. “He is not skilled at Capture the Point as he is Capture the Flag.”

“I will arrange for the Medic and Heavy combinations to move as one unit.” Helen sighed putting out her cigarette. “Jason has fought worse battles.”

“Understood.”

Helen sighed again and closed her eyes.  She folded her fingers and set her elbows on the arms of her chair.  She was experienced in many forms of torture, war and criminal activities. She had a lustrous career in the acts of espionage and mercenary management.  They didn’t teach what she had to offer in any school or vocation.

She was one of a kind.

It often made the work she accomplished one of a kind as well.

When something like _this_ happened, though. . .there was no mental preparation strong enough.

“So much agony over lust.” she murmured. “It is disgusting to think about.”

“Crimes of passion hardly have justification.” Miss Pauling offered.

“That’s not what this was.” Helen said hatefully. “This was a collected effort of blood lust and natural testosterone fueled hatred.  I knew that the BLU Sniper out at Well was crazier than a loon, but I wouldn’t have him pegged as a flaming psychopath.”

Miss Pauling flushed with embarrassment.

“I am sorry, Ma’am.”

“You have no need.” Helen said, quieter. “It was my own fault.  I put restrictions on them I should have known would backfire. While I am pretty sure this hasn’t been going on my whole tenure, I am sure that it got its start early on.”

The Administrator’s voice died in her throat as her hand stopped on a particular picture.  Her eyes narrowed hatefully as a bright, red circle around a fuzzy shape drew her attention.

Miss Pauling jumped when Helen’s fist came crashing down onto the desk. She looked at her boss fearfully.

“Administrator?”

“Where is my RED Spy out of 2Fort?”

Helen’s voice was nearly an inaudible hiss. 

Miss Pauling shook her head.

“It is a weeknight so I would assume on Base at 2Fort!” she answered dutifully.

“Bring him here _NOW_.”

“Miss MacManus, I. . .”

“NOW, PAULING!”

Miss Pauling babbled apologies and quickly ran from the room with her clipboard in hand. From her desk, Helen MacManus seethed.

Beneath her clenched fist was a picture of a Comfort Cell.  No one had been able to identify where this cell was because of the unique architecture. Yet the answer had been right beneath her eyes the whole time.

“No more chances, Merquise.” she hissed. “It is one thing to spurn your son.  It is another when you do _this_ and deprive me of money well spent.”

Her eyes were hateful slits as she looked down at the circled image.

Apparently the Spy needed more than a 23 year rage induced beat down.

“For what you did to Jay. . .for what you did to Indigo and her son. . .for all of the _men_ I lost. . . you better pray to any heathen god you believe in that I take more mercy on you than Cole would have.”

Helen frowned at a picture of the former BLU Sniper at Well.

“ _PRAY TO GOD!_ ”

 


	17. Nothing Else Matters

**Nothing Else Matters**

_I never imagined I would get this second chance._

_I really thought I would die there._

_I was so afraid of waking. . .so afraid of the shaking. . .please don’t wake me._

_Now that we’re here, it seems so far away._

_So far away._

……………………………………..

 

 ** _( Two Years Later_** )

“This is a lot harder than I thought.”

Pensive blue green eyes stared at a flour stained cook book.  Sunlight filtered in through curtains and a partially opened window.  Sweet and savory smells filled the kitchen.  Flour dusted the countertops and dough while Jay Jallette chewed on a fingernail.

“Nero didn’t say it would be _this_ hard.”

His voice was soft and gentle.  Long, brown bangs fell out from beneath a blue kerchief. Flour dusted flushed cheeks.  What hair wasn’t plastered to the former Scout’s face was tied behind him in a long ponytail. The apron he wore was well worn and used.

He frowned at the cookbook.

“I will be upset if this pie comes out like shit.”

Jay looked up as the front door of the house opened.

“Jay! I’m home!”

Jay smiled and looked up when Cole Justine came into the doorway.  He looked at the tanned, grinning young man.

“Home early.”

Cole grinned stupidly.

His red courier shirt was smudged with dirt and a messenger bag was still slung across his chest and hanging by his side. His long, messy brown hair fell into his eyes as he came forward and kissed Jay’s lips.

“I finished early, babe.” the courier answered. “Lucas said he’ll be a little late today.”

“It’s Friday. I understand.” Jay said softly. “How was work?”

“Same old stupid shit.” Cole said laughing. “What’re ya doin’?”

“Cooking.” Jay said looking at the dough on the countertop. “I think.”

“You think?”

“It’s not working very well.” Jay said with frustration. “Nero said I would be able to learn this recipe pretty quick, but that isn’t the case.”

“Then make him finish it when he gets here.” Cole murmured against Jay’s neck. “He and ol’ Long Legs are comin’ over tonight, right?”

Jay nodded as his older brother pinned him against the counter.

“Don’ worry bout it, then.” Cole said. “I’ve missed you."

“You’ve only been gone a few hours.” Jay said smiling.

He wrapped his arms around Cole’s neck.

“Don’t matter.” Cole replied. “Still missed you.”

Jay moaned softly when Cole gently nipped his throat. He looked at his older counterpart as the Scout smiled up at him.

“Got anything that will burn our house down?”

Jay shook his head.

“No.”

“Good.  Then before dinner let’s have fun.” Cole said aloud.

“Cole. . .”

“Please, Jay. . .please let me make love to you. . .”

Jay carefully took Cole’s face between his palms. Sun glinted off of a bright, golden charm around Jay’s neck.  He stared down into the indigo eyes that watched him intently. A feeling of déjà vu washed over him.

“What did you say?”

“I said. . .please let me make love to you.” Cole repeated. “Do. . .do you not want to?”

Jay smiled and carefully tucked Cole’s hair behind his ears.  He felt his heart swell with joy like it always did when Cole reminded him of Vincent.  In the two years they had spent together after the Comfort Case, Jay had found that Cole and Vincent were very much alike.

So much so, it scared him sometimes.

“I want to.” Jay finally answered. “I want you to love me forever.”

Cole smiled warmly.

His eyes lit up as he held Jay tighter.

“I’ll always love you forever.” he said louder. “Always and always.”

His lips met Jay’s as he pushed his body against his younger brother’s.

Their love was complicated to other people.  But Cole’s attitude about “other people” hadn’t changed much in two years.  They could fuck off for all he cared.

No.

All that mattered was right here in his arms.

All that meant anything would always be _him_.

As long as he got that, nothing else mattered.


End file.
